A Soft Heart

When insatiable pain enters my soul, I’m perplexed with indecision. I can run away from it or I can try to devour it and end it’s sting.

If I don’t outrun it, then it finds me. If I try to look at it, it overtakes me.

These feel like two really bad choices. I hate making the decision to inquire my heart to stay open, after all it has been through. However, it must remain available. If not, I run the risk and injury of becoming hard-hearted.

If my heart were to turn to stone, I’d feel better. For a minute – but I’d miss all the great joys in life, too. The smile on my grandson’s face or hearing the laughter of my own children.

I cannot choose the former!

I’m weary with the pain sometimes. I process with God as fast as I can but my heart is sore. It bleeds with worry for my girls. It tears at the fabric of my hope.

But, I will choose peace – the peace that can only come from a heart undivided. A heart that remains tender and open.

Dear God, I lay this request again at your feet. The deep sorry of witnessing my children’s story of abuse. Help me in all earnest put this to rest.

In Jesus name, Amen.

Published by Gracedxoxo

I have the courage to tell my story to help others embrace theirs.

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