A Casual Critic

When will my internal dialogue be good to me? If I spoke to others the way I sometimes speak to myself, I wouldn’t have very many friends. Do I call others fat? Do I tell other people they’re not good enough? How many times have I questioned the validity of another person’s dreams, hopes andContinue reading “A Casual Critic”

Scope of Judgment

The pursuit of happiness, the hunt to end pain – much of this all can seem meaningless. Does pain end? Is happiness something that is attainable? Why do I waste my words talking about such ugliness? My days on this earth are numbered. I won’t be here forever and I know this is not myContinue reading “Scope of Judgment”

A Creek of Disapproval

No matter what I did for my parents, it was met with disappointment. Even when they abused me, if I couldn’t complete the task because of a physical limitation, I was gripped with fear that they would now approve of me less. Loving me less wasn’t even a thing because love didn’t live in ourContinue reading “A Creek of Disapproval”

A Treasury of Trust

No deposit was ever made in me as a child from my parents that would have led me to believe in trust. That’s a great big inadequacy in a human being. Another broken spot. Another spec folks find in me and place additional blame and just another place to find no meaning. As I satContinue reading “A Treasury of Trust”

The Power of Confession

When I kept my story hidden the weight was too enormous to bear. The older I got, the heavier that weight became. So, I told my story. As a little girl my deepest longing was to belong and to be loved. It was very simple. If I had told on my parents and exposed theirContinue reading “The Power of Confession”

Sunday Morning Coming Down

My dad loved Johnny Cash, but he loved chaos and control more. My father would drink until his legs betrayed him and he was forced to give in; subdued only until his strength returned. Denial became my gift as a child. Trust? That’s a fucking joke. Trust lived nowhere near our street and never cameContinue reading “Sunday Morning Coming Down”