Entry from my journal dated May 24, 2006: The day is undetermined. The future echoes the same. Where will I be in 15years. Answers undetermined. Mine not yet to know.Will I prevail in a lawsuit against Cathy? Or silently do I subside into the side shadows. Unknown. I wrote those words 16 years, 9 months,Continue reading “Do You Feel Laughed At?”
Tag Archives: shame
Fear of Man/Woman/Persons
Fear with a capital “F” stays with survivors of incest. It was a gift given to us at breakfast, served with soup at lunch, and gluttonously given at the dinner table. Fear had to be consumed by us for these households to operate smoothly. We probably don’t believe that we operate from a fear perspective.Continue reading “Fear of Man/Woman/Persons”
It
God didn’t do it. Stop blaming him. You need him. Instead, blame the person who hurt you.
Shame
Defined as: noun verb Victims of incest or childhood sexual crimes live under the scrutiny of shame. The question is: Where was this first imposed on the child? When you are two or three years old, how can you consciously do wrong? Isn’t the truth that we are taught wrong? What four year old walkedContinue reading “Shame”
A Soft Heart
When insatiable pain enters my soul, I’m perplexed with indecision. I can run away from it or I can try to devour it and end it’s sting. If I don’t outrun it, then it finds me. If I try to look at it, it overtakes me. These feel like two really bad choices. I hateContinue reading “A Soft Heart”
Hope Deferred Makes My Heart Sick
I have been waiting for God’s intervention in a demonstrative way for so many years I cannot recall the exact number. Maybe since I was born. I feel physically ill sometimes waiting and longing in hope for the vile ways of evil people to be exposed, for them to reap even a little bit; somethingContinue reading “Hope Deferred Makes My Heart Sick”
I’m Sorry They Won’t Listen
Everyone around me gets the privilege of recalling & telling childhood memories – except for me. Everyone reminisces about the stuff that made them who they are – except, I can’t. I’m sorry they won’t allow me to share my stuff. It made me who I am – except, I can’t share that part. TheyContinue reading “I’m Sorry They Won’t Listen”