Judgment Day

God is not so unjust to forget these treacherous deeds done in darkness and done in the full spectrum of daylight. He remembers because He was and is our witness. Hear me, Lord, my plea is just;    listen to my cry.Hear my prayer—    it does not rise from deceitful lips.2 Let my vindication come from you;    may your eyes see what isContinue reading “Judgment Day”

Wailing was Forbidden

After we moved from our home on Delaware Lane, I don’t remember crying. Well, the time I was bit in the face by our Doberman Pinscher, I cried. And, the time my mother left me at home all by myself – I cried then, too. What I am talking about are the tears that drainedContinue reading “Wailing was Forbidden”

Unhealed Wounds

I wish I could give a bracelet of love to every human being that needs one. Some of us came from a territory that had no love in it. Unkept. Unwanted. Unloved. I wish I could just have kept the past hidden, away from the world’s view and, more importantly, away from my own view.Continue reading “Unhealed Wounds”

Space in Eternity

Growing up I had very little of my own space. Someone or something was always in it! The abuse I suffered encroached into everything. Space was a commodity I didn’t have. If I wasn’t being sexually abused, my being was forced to gorge on the aftermath. Inside and outside my space had become the playgroundContinue reading “Space in Eternity”

Cushioned with Belief

Fear of speaking about the atrocities perpetrated against me was a very real thing. Telling about the murder I witnessed was terrifying for years. Recalling the betrayal of my parents was almost surreal, as it carried with it an intense irrational reality. My faith in God it what has sustained me with strength, dignity andContinue reading “Cushioned with Belief”

Hope Springs Eternal

I had a ghastly beginning. I can’t know why and I just don’t ask that question any longer. The English poet Alexander Pope wrote, “Hope springs eternal in the human breast: Man never is, but always to be blest.” My sights are on eternity. How to get there and where I’m going is easy, thatContinue reading “Hope Springs Eternal”

An Empty Mind

When you leave abusive, incestuous homes, not only are you on auto-pilot but your mind becomes vacant and void. I always felt like I merely stumbled from one situation to another. That’s why I held onto relationships at all costs, because I was terrified to be alone. I didn’t trust myself and without my storyContinue reading “An Empty Mind”

Dissociated, Disjointed & Denial

The three D’s of survival. When I watched my father kill tiny kittens on a rough block of wood, I reached into my tool bag and sorted through my survival skills. Which of the three D’s would I use? Any of them could work. When I watched the blood seeping out of one of theContinue reading “Dissociated, Disjointed & Denial”

War on Childhood Crimes

I read an article by Erica Terry titled, Sexual Abuse and the Hidden Children of the Holocaust. From that article, she writes: In fact, the pain of sexual abuse often impacts childhood survivors far greater than other losses and traumas endured during the Holocaust. In a 2006 study, the first of its kind, Professor Rachel Lev-Wiese ofContinue reading “War on Childhood Crimes”