Plucked from the Womb

I had a fantastic counselor. I’ll refer to him as Red. Red helped guide me into change. I reflect often on the lessons I’ve learned with him and would not hesitate to call him if I needed his loving guidance again. I’ve been with him for over 15 years. He may be the longest, constantContinue reading “Plucked from the Womb”

Mocking the Despair of the Innocent

I have often wondered if God is guilty of neglecting me? What sin did I do to cause the abuse and pain that was shot into my life when I was born? What atrocity had I done, when at 18, I married a man to find freedom from my prison – only to receive anotherContinue reading “Mocking the Despair of the Innocent”

A Noose Around My Neck

Suicide is a funny gift I used to analyze from time to time. It seemed to me a reckoning that my soul longed for. I’m not sure why that is but I knew I had an agonizing pain and I wanted it to stop at all costs. Seemed to me that death would end itContinue reading “A Noose Around My Neck”

The Pilgrimage of Prejudice

Another disturbing parcel through this healing journey has been others preconceived opinions of me that are not based on reason or knowledge of my experiences. I’ve learned that ultimately their opinion doesn’t matter, but that took some time. How do folks get so judgmental? The stronger question to me is, “Why do they want toContinue reading “The Pilgrimage of Prejudice”

Recovery or Redemption?

It’s a buzz word but what does it mean? The very definition of the word doesn’t really work for me. Recovery is returning to a normal state of health, mind, or strength. What’s normal? What exactly am I returning to? My entire life is not something I want to return to and returning to whoseContinue reading “Recovery or Redemption?”

Laid Bare

I remember being asked the question, “What is your deepest fear?” My response always seemed odd, but it was the first thing my mind answered, “Having someone sit next to me in my deepest suffering.” Isn’t that strange? I always thought so, too, but it was the only answer my mind bellowed in response toContinue reading “Laid Bare”

Phantom Pain

I’m 17 when I meet my first husband. He’s three years older with a job, a car and a means to run away. Our first overnight together is wrought with confusion and pain. He picks me up and drives me to a motel in another town. We arrive and he runs into the office, returningContinue reading “Phantom Pain”