Courage to Fail

The world seems to tell us to show up all put together, doesn’t it? Tragedies of all kinds demand attention. When we look at our hurts, we’re not okay. If we we are okay seeing our scars, are we really seeing them for what they are? Not being a bystander in my own story causedContinue reading “Courage to Fail”

How Do I Forgive A Liar?

Dear Heavenly Father, This earthy family I came through stands with the lies that surround our incestuous past. I am angered at their lack of attempts to join forces with me against evil. Not only do they not walk with me, they actively try to discredit me. Why? They cannot listen to my story, becauseContinue reading “How Do I Forgive A Liar?”

The Clowns of Mockery

“Who are you to tell our story? Incest is a family secret. You have no right to share it.” These are the voices of the clowns that try to impede my path to healing. “You’re fat and you should worry about that! You’re sick because of what you came from; that will never change.” OnContinue reading “The Clowns of Mockery”

Forgive, to Be Forgiven?

Forgiven of what? I owe no debt to the people who abused me. Why then does it feel like I am forced to repay something I didn’t steal? Why do abuse survivors feel the need to hide the dirty secret? Is it for their own protection or is it to protect the abuser? Is silenceContinue reading “Forgive, to Be Forgiven?”

Glory in the Goal

Redeeming my past is a journey, not a destination. When I have memories return because I have allowed them free reign in my being now, it can be challenging. Successful processing of traumatic memories allows you to say, “The traumatic event happened, it happened to me, and it is over now. The complex ptsd workbook,Continue reading “Glory in the Goal”

The Rudimentary Need for Evidence

I’ve worked in law firms for over 30 years. I’ve watched cases won, rights be fully restored and Indian casinos opened in return for what was taken. What I have never seen is evidence manufactured. Lack of evidence is a devastating theme in the world of childhood trauma. Whatever the crime, scarcely is there evidenceContinue reading “The Rudimentary Need for Evidence”

The Cost of Healing Delayed

As I tell my story, I have people tell me theirs. Often they add, “I know there is abuse in my past, but I’m not going there.” I think the commonly-held-belief is, that if the secret stays hidden, it will cost nothing to hide. This is downright wrong. The cost is vast and more expensiveContinue reading “The Cost of Healing Delayed”

The Stench of Guilt

The problem with sexual abuse and crimes that are perpetrated by family members is that most of their victims take the responsibility for the action of that member. This should not be! I had a dream last night that I was driving in a truck with my father (now deceased) and the other man whoContinue reading “The Stench of Guilt”