And, despair. My childhood was plagued with signs of it. Beyond my reoccurring nightmare of my father raping a woman, I did many other strange things trying to work out this mysterious puzzle that I hid inside me. Trauma takes on funny ways of revealing itself when it is outside of your mind’s eye. TheContinue reading “D E A T H”
Tag Archives: PTSD
Just Hold On
Sometimes the only strength I had left in my being was just the ability to get through one more day. So, that’s just what I did. I held on for one more day. When I was going through the memories of the murder through nightmares, flashbacks, and work with my counselor, I lived in aContinue reading “Just Hold On”
Mocking the Despair of the Innocent
I have often wondered if God is guilty of neglecting me? What sin did I do to cause the abuse and pain that was shot into my life when I was born? What atrocity had I done, when at 18, I married a man to find freedom from my prison – only to receive anotherContinue reading “Mocking the Despair of the Innocent”
What’s a Diagnosis Have to Do With It?
Sure, they’re needed for insurance companies to foot the bill of counseling but I certainly didn’t need one nor do I want one. From the book The Body Keeps the Score, Chapter 9: What’s Love Got to Do with It: “The first serious attempt to create a systematic manual of psychiatric diagnoses occurred in 1980,Continue reading “What’s a Diagnosis Have to Do With It?”
Xactly! You’re Not My Family
Reading this now, it seems pathetic. At the time I wrote it, I was desperate. I’m not sure what I was begging for, but I was going to the wrong source. He answered my email with some bullshit reply about going back to “an old line church” so I wouldn’t be so miserable. Here’s myContinue reading “Xactly! You’re Not My Family”
A Rocky Traverse
The path of pain is the road of recovery. It seems quite unfair that after enduring hardships of epic proportion, this was what waited for me. The best way to get to the other side of a mountain is to go over it. If you go around it, you’ll miss the stunning views from theContinue reading “A Rocky Traverse”