Courage to Catch the Contagion

Just as laughter is contagious, so is healing. I’m leaving a home I’ve lived in for 12 years. The person I was when I moved into this house is almost no longer with me. I was scared, lonely, confused and angry. I knew pieces of my story, but not all of it. I was chattingContinue reading “Courage to Catch the Contagion”

Sunday Morning Coming Down

Sundays – a day for families, a day for reflection, a day to be still. Maybe, a day for renewed hope. All of my life I have struggled with love. What does it mean? What does it look like? How do I get it? If you believe that God knew us while we were beingContinue reading “Sunday Morning Coming Down”

Lackadaisical

Isn’t this the opposite of being vigilant? I don’t think I’ve ever known how to just rest in life. Being carelessly lazy isn’t something I had the luxury of knowing. Oh, I have lacked enthusiasm but not determination. Almost before I remember anything else in life, I remember the will to live. It was etchedContinue reading “Lackadaisical”

Unhealed Wounds

I wish I could give a bracelet of love to every human being that needs one. Some of us came from a territory that had no love in it. Unkept. Unwanted. Unloved. I wish I could just have kept the past hidden, away from the world’s view and, more importantly, away from my own view.Continue reading “Unhealed Wounds”

Cushioned with Belief

Fear of speaking about the atrocities perpetrated against me was a very real thing. Telling about the murder I witnessed was terrifying for years. Recalling the betrayal of my parents was almost surreal, as it carried with it an intense irrational reality. My faith in God it what has sustained me with strength, dignity andContinue reading “Cushioned with Belief”

Bleeding & Thirsty

My entire childhood was riddled and racked with painful events. I’m ok now and ready to take down this beast of incest. It’s been hiding and hanging around for centuries. I’m all done letting it hide. This beast gains strength in the silence of its victims. I see it time and time again. Victims ofContinue reading “Bleeding & Thirsty”

Gracious Gratitude

I shouldn’t be who I am. That’s one of the kindness gifts my counselor gave to me. He believed in me, until I believed in myself. I am so very grateful for all the work I’ve put in to changing the destiny my parents offered me. It’s taken a lot of forgiveness. That forgiveness hasn’tContinue reading “Gracious Gratitude”

Hope Springs Eternal

I had a ghastly beginning. I can’t know why and I just don’t ask that question any longer. The English poet Alexander Pope wrote, “Hope springs eternal in the human breast: Man never is, but always to be blest.” My sights are on eternity. How to get there and where I’m going is easy, thatContinue reading “Hope Springs Eternal”

A Casual Critic

When will my internal dialogue be good to me? If I spoke to others the way I sometimes speak to myself, I wouldn’t have very many friends. Do I call others fat? Do I tell other people they’re not good enough? How many times have I questioned the validity of another person’s dreams, hopes andContinue reading “A Casual Critic”

An Empty Mind

When you leave abusive, incestuous homes, not only are you on auto-pilot but your mind becomes vacant and void. I always felt like I merely stumbled from one situation to another. That’s why I held onto relationships at all costs, because I was terrified to be alone. I didn’t trust myself and without my storyContinue reading “An Empty Mind”