Alligators in the Mississippi

Living through all the evil in my childhood should have set me up with a clear vision to see evil as an adult, spot the deceiving way of an abuser and recognize their lies. Right? Wrong! My mind had been poisoned so severely that my vision was skewed and I could not predict a trueContinue reading “Alligators in the Mississippi”

Jewels, Gems & Gunpowder

I would love to hear from you! Sharing Saturday with you. Jewel: Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. When you are waiting for the birth of a child, the anticipation of “what you are waiting for” is the center of the experience. That’s an easier kind of waiting and the blessing gained through that waiting is tremendous. WhenContinue reading “Jewels, Gems & Gunpowder”

Bonds with Mayhem

Legally speaking,┬ámayhem┬árefers to the gruesome crime of deliberately causing an injury that permanently disfigures another. Deliberately causing injury. These are the people I grew up with. It’s no stretch of the imagination to understand why I then picked this same bred to create new bonds with. It’s all I knew. Oh, I was bonded withContinue reading “Bonds with Mayhem”

Swimming Upstream

True healing made me feel like a fish out of water. A comfortable coat of denial was what I grew up with; it’s old feelings enveloped me for years. Stepping away from the comfort of making up stories that I could live with only happened when my life stalled time and time again with dysfunctionalContinue reading “Swimming Upstream”

Jewels, Gems & Gunpowder

I would love to hear from you! Sharing Saturday with you. Jewel: Yesterday I took a walk down the same street I walked when I was five. The street led to my elementary school. By the time I was five, I had seen such treachery and been through so much abuse, I questioned yesterday whyContinue reading “Jewels, Gems & Gunpowder”

A Gate to Justice

A house with a white picket fence, two kids, a cat, a new car and a dedicated husband of 40 years just wasn’t in the cards for me. I’ve been married four times, have two children, no animals and life full of love. My first husband not only cheated on me every chance he could,Continue reading “A Gate to Justice”

Jewels, Gems & Gunpowder

I would love to hear from you! Sharing Saturday with you. Jewel: The courage God has given me to tell my stories is a gift beyond measure. On my journeys I meet so many that just cannot, or will not, confront their stories with the full, unadulterated truth. They erect a fantasy where the truthContinue reading “Jewels, Gems & Gunpowder”

Jewels, Gems & Gunpowder

I would love to hear from you! Sharing Saturday with you. Jewel: I have been so lifted up this week looking at the beautiful family I have around me and sharing time with them, hearing their hearts and breathing in their love. Sometimes we focus on what we’ve lost in the fight to gain ourContinue reading “Jewels, Gems & Gunpowder”

Stay Comfortable

If this were to be my mantra, I’d never heal. Ever! Stay comfortable no good counselor would suggest. Comfortably numb, skills of denial, disassociation – these are my tools of comfortable. Peace is another thing. Peace is something you gain in the midst of the uncomfortable. But, what does comfortable really mean? The definition ofContinue reading “Stay Comfortable”

Regaining Your Experience

Don’t talk. Don’t tell. Don’t remember. This seems to be a constant reminder to adult’s who have experienced childhood trauma. They want to let their abusers live out their lives unnoticed or unaffected by their crimes. This saddens me deeply. The only way to regain those parts of ourselves that were stolen by the perpetratorsContinue reading “Regaining Your Experience”