Trajectory thru Tragedy

I work in a busy corporate law firm in the Downtown area of my city. When everyone around me is stressed out and struggling, I’ve found my place by being able to step in, calm the situation down and quickly find solutions. As a result, I am now a director and run a few departmentsContinue reading “Trajectory thru Tragedy”

Abandoned, But Not Forgotten

If I didn’t honor myself by returning to my past, and bringing vindication where I could, I would have been left abandoned. I would have abandoned myself. I had to force myself to remember me. Everything around me told me to stop seeking, stop turning over rocks. “Learn to live,” they would tell me. Didn’tContinue reading “Abandoned, But Not Forgotten”

Hurt People Hurt People

Today is my brother’s birthday. I haven’t talked to my brother in so many years I’ve lost count. I sent him a letter years ago telling him I forgave him for raping me. I wrote that I understood coming from a household of incest, shit happens. I never heard back from him. I believe consciousContinue reading “Hurt People Hurt People”

“Nuts” or “Sluts”

The Nuts or Sluts defense has been used for years in many women’s cases. Famously quoted by Woody Harrelson playing the attorney Bill White in North Country, he explains how this defense is often used to make a judge think that a woman is either crazy and made it up or that she’s a slutContinue reading ““Nuts” or “Sluts””

Who Was the Murdered Woman?

A cheap Saturday night took you down. You died stupidly and harshly . . . I failed you as a talisman – so I stand now as your witness. My Dark Places, An L.A. Crime Memoir, James Ellroy I cannot bring the dead woman back, but I am a witness to her last moments onContinue reading “Who Was the Murdered Woman?”

I am a Warrior

Several of the women recalled lying awake, motionless, waiting for the inevitable – a brother or father coming in to molest them. The Body Keeps the Score, van der Kolk, Chapter 2, Trauma Before Dawn These were my nights. Many of them. And, I survived. How I survived is the thing to be questioned. AsContinue reading “I am a Warrior”

The Death of My Inner Child

There has been a lot recovery work around finding and healing your inner child. If you give it a quick Google search you get about 22,500,000 returns. I was probably five or six when my dad decided that we had too many cats in the world and he needed to rid us from the burdenContinue reading “The Death of My Inner Child”

I Wasn’t Born Yesterday (circa 1935)

God will always give you enough. That was my grandmother. This picture was taken of her in the early 1920s. She was born Elna Selinda, but later changed her name to Eleanor to remove some of her Finnish upbringing and become more American. It was standard in those days. I loved her so. There’s aContinue reading “I Wasn’t Born Yesterday (circa 1935)”

C-PTSD ~The Cost of Childhood Trauma

I turned 56 this July. My daughter bought me a book titled, The Complex PTDS Workbook, A Mind-Body Approach to Regaining Emotional Control & Becoming Whole by Arielle Schwartz, PhD. Another to add to my vast collection of recovery books like Judith Herman’s book Trauma and Recovery and the greatest book to hit the shelves,Continue reading “C-PTSD ~The Cost of Childhood Trauma”