Plucked from the Womb

I had a fantastic counselor. I’ll refer to him as Red. Red helped guide me into change. I reflect often on the lessons I’ve learned with him and would not hesitate to call him if I needed his loving guidance again. I’ve been with him for over 15 years. He may be the longest, constantContinue reading “Plucked from the Womb”

The Shot of Rejection

Abuse, for each one of us, is a burden to carry. The acts perpetrated against us carry a sentence that equates, ultimately, to rejection. My parents continually dismissed me. Their refusal to see me, offer any comfort or love that I needed as a child, left a blueprint that I followed. That path led meContinue reading “The Shot of Rejection”

The Chill of Isolation

As a child and then as an adult, aloneness was my best friend. The world around me was so terribly unsafe, what other conclusion could I draw? What other form of reprieve could I seek? When I was about eight, I created a safe play area in my closet. I turned my shelf over toContinue reading “The Chill of Isolation”

Fantasy Island – Do You Pretend?

Why is that my mind wanders away from reality so quickly? They call it dissociation but if I could live in an altered state, none of my story would be true. And, if it were true, I’d minimize it. Change the destruction of its path. I would temper it to the point where it hadContinue reading “Fantasy Island – Do You Pretend?”

The Power of Confession

When I kept my story hidden the weight was too enormous to bear. The older I got, the heavier that weight became. So, I told my story. As a little girl my deepest longing was to belong and to be loved. It was very simple. If I had told on my parents and exposed theirContinue reading “The Power of Confession”

Abandoned, But Not Forgotten

If I didn’t honor myself by returning to my past, and bringing vindication where I could, I would have been left abandoned. I would have abandoned myself. I had to force myself to remember me. Everything around me told me to stop seeking, stop turning over rocks. “Learn to live,” they would tell me. Didn’tContinue reading “Abandoned, But Not Forgotten”

The Death of My Inner Child

There has been a lot recovery work around finding and healing your inner child. If you give it a quick Google search you get about 22,500,000 returns. I was probably five or six when my dad decided that we had too many cats in the world and he needed to rid us from the burdenContinue reading “The Death of My Inner Child”