Chiseled Away By Grief and Unbelief

Wouldn’t healing be easier if I believed all my memories at once? I’d struggle less if I didn’t hold some memories in the case of disbelief. I don’t want to believe they’re true, so I’ll just tuck them away in the cabinet of denial. That works for a little while. Then the memory leaks throughContinue reading “Chiseled Away By Grief and Unbelief”

Wailing was Forbidden

After we moved from our home on Delaware Lane, I don’t remember crying. Well, the time I was bit in the face by our Doberman Pinscher, I cried. And, the time my mother left me at home all by myself – I cried then, too. What I am talking about are the tears that drainedContinue reading “Wailing was Forbidden”

Mocking the Despair of the Innocent

I have often wondered if God is guilty of neglecting me? What sin did I do to cause the abuse and pain that was shot into my life when I was born? What atrocity had I done, when at 18, I married a man to find freedom from my prison – only to receive anotherContinue reading “Mocking the Despair of the Innocent”

Disabled By My Abilities

I have endured too much abuse at the hands of others because of my dissociative behaviors. Let me explain. “Dissociation means simultaneously knowing and not knowing.” Body keeps the score, VAN der kolk, m.d., page 121 You read that right. “When you don’t feel real nothing matters, which makes it impossible to protect yourself fromContinue reading “Disabled By My Abilities”