Terror, Unrealized

Children don’t have the luxury of allowing their terror to rein and that is life altering. When an adult is raped, they have recourse — most of the time they tell, they receive counseling, and sympathy. The perps might not receive full justice but an adult has many options to let their terror loose. AContinue reading “Terror, Unrealized”

Wrestling with My Thoughts

The endurance to out smart my intellection has been challenging. Since I was tiny, I over think everything. Every mood that stood next to me — every action. Everything I’ve done wrong — everything I’ve done right. This left no room for imagination. I didn’t have time for that nonsense. I had to survive. NowContinue reading “Wrestling with My Thoughts”

Is Rejection the Real Culprit?

Pain, mercy, abuse – it’s all born out of rejection. When my father was dying he and I had a six-hour conversation. We talked about a lot. I asked him who hadn’t seen his pain. I pushed the question again, saying, “Dad, was it your mother who didn’t see your pain?” He looked down atContinue reading “Is Rejection the Real Culprit?”

The Pilgrimage of Pride

Typically, a pilgrimage is a physical journey to some place of special significance. The path of incest is such a journey. I’ve seen it far too many times. Pedophiles all seem to sound much the same. Their arguments are similar – filled with deceit and lies, and their pride is unmatched. They tear at theContinue reading “The Pilgrimage of Pride”

Wailing was Forbidden

After we moved from our home on Delaware Lane, I don’t remember crying. Well, the time I was bit in the face by our Doberman Pinscher, I cried. And, the time my mother left me at home all by myself – I cried then, too. What I am talking about are the tears that drainedContinue reading “Wailing was Forbidden”

Is Rejection the Real Culprit?

Pain, mercy, abuse – it’s all born out of rejection. When my father was dying he and I had a six-hour conversation. We talked about a lot. I asked him who hadn’t seen his pain. I pushed the question again, saying, “Dad, was it your mother who didn’t see your pain?” He looked down atContinue reading “Is Rejection the Real Culprit?”

Space in Eternity

Growing up I had very little of my own space. Someone or something was always in it! The abuse I suffered encroached into everything. Space was a commodity I didn’t have. If I wasn’t being sexually abused, my being was forced to gorge on the aftermath. Inside and outside my space had become the playgroundContinue reading “Space in Eternity”

Useless

Going back and asking your abusers to help you is about as much good as a wet match. I witnessed a murder. I watched a woman leave this planet. She took her last breathe while I was watching. That’s a wretched thing to leave undone. As I’ve written, my father’s best friend at the time,Continue reading “Useless”

Is Hatred Revenge?

Hatred is an intense dislike or ill will. If I came close to hatred in my life, I suppose it would be towards my mother. Maybe not for the vile acts of sexual perversion she brought upon me, but for her deceiving ways. She is much like the sorcerer and false prophet Paul talked aboutContinue reading “Is Hatred Revenge?”

Wailing was Forbidden

After we moved from our home on Delaware Lane, I don’t remember crying. Well, the time I was bit in the face by our Doberman Pinscher, I cried. And, the time my mother left me at home all by myself – I cried then, too. What I am talking about are the tears that drainedContinue reading “Wailing was Forbidden”