Am I, “All Done?”

Healing in our humanity is more of a journey than a destination. Sure, I can be done, if I choose to be done. Or, can I? Each time I cross another milestone and regain another piece of my inner structure back, I think to myself, “this time, I think I might be done with allContinue reading “Am I, “All Done?””

A Pool of Blood

Memories, memories, memories. Memories did not light the corner of my mind like the song indicates. In fact, memories have darkened my life for years. There is so much discussion around memories. Do you trust them? Where do they come from? Did you manufacture them? The answer to all such nonsense is this: Do youContinue reading “A Pool of Blood”

Judgment Day

God is not so unjust to forget these treacherous deeds done in darkness and done in the full spectrum of daylight. He remembers because He was and is our witness. Hear me, Lord, my plea is just;    listen to my cry.Hear my prayer—    it does not rise from deceitful lips.2 Let my vindication come from you;    may your eyes see what isContinue reading “Judgment Day”

Diabolical & Destructive

12 The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” genesis 3:12 My mother was both an accomplice and a dictator. Often, abusive mother’s go unnoticed in the world of sexual crimes. That should not be so. Sometimes they are silent witnesses, sometimes theyContinue reading “Diabolical & Destructive”

The Present of Presence

Growing up, I was never present in my body full time. I practiced dissociating when I could to ease the painful, daily experiences in my life. When I wasn’t checking out, I over ate to the point of distraction. Today, I try to live fully aware of my experiences. I’m in touch with my bodyContinue reading “The Present of Presence”

Glory in the Goal

Redeeming my past is a journey, not a destination. When I have memories return because I have allowed them free reign in my being now, it can be challenging. Successful processing of traumatic memories allows you to say, “The traumatic event happened, it happened to me, and it is over now. The complex ptsd workbook,Continue reading “Glory in the Goal”

Insanity or Clarity?

As a child, I had very little independent thinking outside of my father. My abuse started when I was so small, that it was as if I had become a solider in my father’s army. Enlisted without cause and disabled of any independence. There were no Saturday morning cartoons in our house that I canContinue reading “Insanity or Clarity?”

Chiseled Away By Grief and Unbelief

Wouldn’t healing be easier if I believed all my memories at once? I’d struggle less if I didn’t hold some memories in the case of disbelief. I don’t want to believe they’re true, so I’ll just tuck them away in the cabinet of denial. That works for a little while. Then the memory leaks throughContinue reading “Chiseled Away By Grief and Unbelief”

Gluttons for Perversion

If we were to face the facts of childhood rape and molestation, it is perversion in the purest form. Predators of all kinds like the power they take when they possess another human being’s body to mutilate it for their own perverse pleasures. This should not be watered down. It is the epitome of theContinue reading “Gluttons for Perversion”