A Noose Around My Neck

Suicide is a funny gift I used to analyze from time to time. It seemed to me a reckoning that my soul longed for. I’m not sure why that is but I knew I had an agonizing pain and I wanted it to stop at all costs. Seemed to me that death would end itContinue reading “A Noose Around My Neck”

The Construction of Pain

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves . . . Live the questions now. Perhaps you will gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer. Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a young poet As a very small child, my body andContinue reading “The Construction of Pain”

A Spirit of Guilt

Guilt isn’t necessarily a result of something you’ve done wrong. It very well could be a result of something you’ve done right. What do I mean? I’ve told the truth so many times about my family of origin. Their misconduct and brutality has been uncovered. I sometimes carry guilt because of this. I know I’veContinue reading “A Spirit of Guilt”

Am I, “All Done?”

Healing in our humanity is more of a journey than a destination. Sure, I can be done, if I choose to be done. Or, can I? Each time I cross another milestone and regain another piece of my inner structure back, I think to myself, “this time, I think I might be done with allContinue reading “Am I, “All Done?””

The Juniper Berries of Pain

The juniper berry is more like a small pine cone than a fruit. In fact, the juniper berry is not a fruit at all, but rather a type of bitter/citrus tasting spice. The berries have anti-inflammatory properties that are ideal for relieving pain and inflammation related to rheumatism and arthritis. Healing is very much like a bitter tonic.Continue reading “The Juniper Berries of Pain”

Plucked from the Womb

I had a fantastic counselor. I’ll refer to him as Red. Red helped guide me into change. I reflect often on the lessons I’ve learned with him and would not hesitate to call him if I needed his loving guidance again. I’ve been with him for over 15 years. He may be the longest, constantContinue reading “Plucked from the Womb”

The Construction of Pain

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves . . . Live the questions now. Perhaps you will gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer. Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a young poet As a very small child, my body andContinue reading “The Construction of Pain”

A Noose Around My Neck

Suicide is a funny gift I used to analyze from time to time. It seemed to me a reckoning that my soul longed for. I’m not sure why that is but I knew I had an agonizing pain and I wanted it to stop at all costs. Seemed to me that death would end itContinue reading “A Noose Around My Neck”