Is Hatred Revenge?

Hatred is an intense dislike or ill will. If I came close to hatred in my life, I suppose it would be towards my mother. Maybe not for the vile acts of sexual perversion she brought upon me, but for her deceiving ways. She is much like the sorcerer and false prophet Paul talked aboutContinue reading “Is Hatred Revenge?”

Plucked from the Womb

I had a fantastic counselor. I’ll refer to him as Red. Red helped guide me into change. I reflect often on the lessons I’ve learned with him and would not hesitate to call him if I needed his loving guidance again. I’ve been with him for over 15 years. He may be the longest, constantContinue reading “Plucked from the Womb”

The Well of My Soul

I believe that God saw that I was unloved as a child. That’s why He found me. The well of my tiny soul had no water and my eyes gave no light. Then, I met Him. In my room at the age of three, pegged against a wall of suffering, waiting for my body toContinue reading “The Well of My Soul”

Wailing was Forbidden

After we moved from our home on Delaware Lane, I don’t remember crying. Well, the time I was bit in the face by our Doberman Pinscher, I cried. And, the time my mother left me at home all by myself – I cried then, too. What I am talking about are the tears that drainedContinue reading “Wailing was Forbidden”

A Treasury of Trust

No deposit was ever made in me as a child from my parents that would have led me to believe in trust. That’s a great big inadequacy in a human being. Another broken spot. Another spec folks find in me and place additional blame and just another place to find no meaning. As I satContinue reading “A Treasury of Trust”

The Shot of Rejection

Abuse, for each one of us, is a burden to carry. The acts perpetrated against us carry a sentence that equates, ultimately, to rejection. My parents continually dismissed me. Their refusal to see me, offer any comfort or love that I needed as a child, left a blueprint that I followed. That path led meContinue reading “The Shot of Rejection”

Mocking the Despair of the Innocent

I have often wondered if God is guilty of neglecting me? What sin did I do to cause the abuse and pain that was shot into my life when I was born? What atrocity had I done, when at 18, I married a man to find freedom from my prison – only to receive anotherContinue reading “Mocking the Despair of the Innocent”

I Didn’t Start This War

Prejudice exists. I’m judged and categorized so often for my upbringing and it gets old. I’d be much more acceptable to them if I didn’t stand by my right to speak. Uncomfortable and unending, the opinions around me fly. Why don’t they be quiet? I didn’t ask them, did I? My battle scars are aContinue reading “I Didn’t Start This War”