Perishing in Despair

Childhood sexual abuse sucks the life from your bones. It lives under cover but it’s current is strong. The devastation it leaves in the children who are now grown is a brutal reality of what happened yesterday. You can run from it, but I guarantee you — you can’t hide. That is just the truthContinue reading “Perishing in Despair”

Graves Give Gifts

Mourning is something our society ignores. Rarely is it given the attention or time that it deserves. Grief has a surprisingly warm outcome. By allowing it freedom it can scatter your pain and allow you to get on with life. Somewhere society has told us — wrongly, that if you are healed, you do notContinue reading “Graves Give Gifts”

Don’t Trespass

I wasted so many years trying to find the answers and solutions to my life visiting with my abusers. Incest is a gift that way. The ones who hurt you are your friends – they’re family. I wanted to love them and I wanted them to love me. I didn’t want to walk away withoutContinue reading “Don’t Trespass”

Love Does Not Conquer All

Sometimes, we have families to heal the legacy of our pasts. We date and marry to be loved into existence. But it never works. We know it doesn’t work. So why do we use the most innocent creatures on earth to try an achieve intactness? We have children as a continuation of a lie …Continue reading “Love Does Not Conquer All”

Grief is a Grizzly Bear

Why is it that the articles on healing and the many counselors that are not trained in sexual abuse, try to ignore grief? Think about this for just a minute. If you are walking around crying or showing your pain, isn’t that considered an unhealed person? Seems to me that the world accepts us whenContinue reading “Grief is a Grizzly Bear”

Chiseled Away By Grief and Unbelief

Wouldn’t healing be easier if I believed all my memories at once? I’d struggle less if I didn’t hold some memories in the case of disbelief. I don’t want to believe they’re true, so I’ll just tuck them away in the cabinet of denial. That works for a little while. Then the memory leaks throughContinue reading “Chiseled Away By Grief and Unbelief”

A Soft Heart

When insatiable pain enters my soul, I’m perplexed with indecision. I can run away from it or I can try to devour it and end it’s sting. If I don’t outrun it, then it finds me. If I try to look at it, it overtakes me. These feel like two really bad choices. I hateContinue reading “A Soft Heart”

Knowing Good from Evil

Growing up in the dysfunction of incest caused so many truths to be unknown to me. When my daughter was about five, she asked me a question that hurt my heart to the core. I was putting her down one night and she said, “Mommy, how will I know when someone is bad? Dad isContinue reading “Knowing Good from Evil”

The Agony of Suffering

I’ve had to learn to struggle through much suffering in my life. In the night hours, it slept with me and tortured my sleep. When I woke up, it was the first thing to greet my day before even the sunshine had time to say hello. Learning to fight with suffering was something I hadContinue reading “The Agony of Suffering”

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