Life’s Delicate Balance

I can have anger and not hate. I can love and not forgive. I can forgive and leave. The older I get the more I realize that life is about balance. Coming thru such severe childhood trauma I often get stuck in an off-balance kind of place — everything is good or everything is bad.Continue reading “Life’s Delicate Balance”

Blood Thirsty

Society is too easy on abusers. They just are. These men and woman who rape and mangle the innocent – they know what they’re doing. They are calculated creatures who spend their time deceiving and changing the truth to fiction. Why is it so hard for folks to believe these abusers are fully aware ofContinue reading “Blood Thirsty”

Wailing was Forbidden

After we moved from our home on Delaware Lane, I don’t remember crying. Well, the time I was bit in the face by our Doberman Pinscher, I cried. And, the time my mother left me at home all by myself – I cried then, too. What I am talking about are the tears that drainedContinue reading “Wailing was Forbidden”

The Well of My Soul

I believe that God saw that I was unloved as a child. That’s why He found me. The well of my tiny soul had no water and my eyes gave no light. Then, I met Him. In my room at the age of three, pegged against a wall of suffering, waiting for my body toContinue reading “The Well of My Soul”

Freedom Bells

Freedom, what is freedom? Freedom is defined as the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint. I love that! It is beyond refreshing. The power to act, speak and think as you want? I was not raised that way. Jesus said, “He [the Spirit of the Lord]Continue reading “Freedom Bells”

Lackadaisical

Isn’t this the opposite of being vigilant? I don’t think I’ve ever known how to just rest in life. Being carelessly lazy isn’t something I had the luxury of knowing. Oh, I have lacked enthusiasm but not determination. Almost before I remember anything else in life, I remember the will to live. It was etchedContinue reading “Lackadaisical”

War on Childhood Crimes

I read an article by Erica Terry titled, Sexual Abuse and the Hidden Children of the Holocaust. From that article, she writes: In fact, the pain of sexual abuse often impacts childhood survivors far greater than other losses and traumas endured during the Holocaust. In a 2006 study, the first of its kind, Professor Rachel Lev-Wiese ofContinue reading “War on Childhood Crimes”

Useless

Going back and asking your abusers to help you is about as much good as a wet match. I witnessed a murder. I watched a woman leave this planet. She took her last breathe while I was watching. That’s a wretched thing to leave undone. As I’ve written, my father’s best friend at the time,Continue reading “Useless”

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