The Pilgrimage of Prejudice

Another disturbing parcel through this healing journey has been others preconceived opinions of me that are not based on reason or knowledge of my experiences. I’ve learned that ultimately their opinion doesn’t matter, but that took some time. How do folks get so judgmental? The stronger question to me is, “Why do they want toContinue reading “The Pilgrimage of Prejudice”

The Rudimentary Need for Evidence

I’ve worked in law firms for over 30 years. I’ve watched cases won, rights be fully restored and Indian casinos opened in return for what was taken. What I have never seen is evidence manufactured. Lack of evidence is a devastating theme in the world of childhood trauma. Whatever the crime, scarcely is there evidenceContinue reading “The Rudimentary Need for Evidence”

Is Rejection the Real Culprit?

Pain, mercy, abuse – it’s all born out of rejection. When my father was dying he and I had a six-hour conversation. We talked about a lot. I asked him who hadn’t seen his pain. I pushed the question again, saying, “Dad, was it your mother who didn’t see your pain?” He looked down atContinue reading “Is Rejection the Real Culprit?”

A Covenant of Love

If you’ve missed the part of my story where I saw my parents full of hope and love, I guess I haven’t shared that with you yet. Bonnie and Clyde loved each other deeply. In a bond against the world, they survived. I have sometimes compared my parents to this daring duo. Growing up, theyContinue reading “A Covenant of Love”

The Cost of Healing Delayed

As I tell my story, I have people tell me theirs. Often they add, “I know there is abuse in my past, but I’m not going there.” I think the commonly-held-belief is, that if the secret stays hidden, it will cost nothing to hide. This is downright wrong. The cost is vast and more expensiveContinue reading “The Cost of Healing Delayed”

Recovery or Redemption?

It’s a buzz word but what does it mean? The very definition of the word doesn’t really work for me. Recovery is returning to a normal state of health, mind, or strength. What’s normal? What exactly am I returning to? My entire life is not something I want to return to and returning to whoseContinue reading “Recovery or Redemption?”

Laid Bare

I remember being asked the question, “What is your deepest fear?” My response always seemed odd, but it was the first thing my mind answered, “Having someone sit next to me in my deepest suffering.” Isn’t that strange? I always thought so, too, but it was the only answer my mind bellowed in response toContinue reading “Laid Bare”

Night Disturbances

The dream is in black and white. We’re in an office setting and my father has a women pinned against a desk. The dream ends with him pushing her head down on the desk and pulling up her skirt. I couldn’t decipher that nightmare as a child, but throughout my life, it never changed. WhatContinue reading “Night Disturbances”