The Clowns of Mockery

“Who are you to tell our story? Incest is a family secret. You have no right to share it.” These are the voices of the clowns that try to impede my path to healing. “You’re fat and you should worry about that! You’re sick because of what you came from; that will never change.” OnContinue reading “The Clowns of Mockery”

An Empty Mind

When you leave abusive, incestuous homes, not only are you on auto-pilot but your mind becomes vacant and void. I always felt like I merely stumbled from one situation to another. That’s why I held onto relationships at all costs, because I was terrified to be alone. I didn’t trust myself and without my storyContinue reading “An Empty Mind”

Is Rejection the Real Culprit?

Pain, mercy, abuse – it’s all born out of rejection. When my father was dying he and I had a six-hour conversation. We talked about a lot. I asked him who hadn’t seen his pain. I pushed the question again, saying, “Dad, was it your mother who didn’t see your pain?” He looked down atContinue reading “Is Rejection the Real Culprit?”

Sunday Morning Coming Down

This blog has been shared over 11,000 times. This post the third most shared. I share it again because the message is obviously one that is needed. Sundays – a day for families, a day for reflection, a day to be still. Maybe, a day for renewed hope. All of my life I have struggledContinue reading “Sunday Morning Coming Down”

Discipline, A Catalyst for Change

I hated discipline. Every form of it. Until I learned that disciple is not punishment. Growing up we were punished for every slight infraction we made in my father’s kingdom. If you spoke or behaved inappropriately, a leather belt was waiting to connect with your raw skin. If you didn’t wash the dishes just rightContinue reading “Discipline, A Catalyst for Change”

With a Cautious Word

When I first began to tell my story, I was fearful. I felt unbelieved. I had no witness to corroborate the crimes I’d lived through. A strange thing began to happen as I talked. People did listen, whether they wanted to or not, my story was being heard. I received a call one day fromContinue reading “With a Cautious Word”

The Rudimentary Need for Evidence

I’ve worked in law firms for over 30 years. I’ve watched cases won, rights be fully restored and Indian casinos opened in return for what was taken. What I have never seen is evidence manufactured. Lack of evidence is a devastating theme in the world of childhood trauma. Whatever the crime, scarcely is there evidenceContinue reading “The Rudimentary Need for Evidence”

Helpless, Until I Was Not

In my mother’s womb was darkness, The darkness continued both day and night; When I was born, I was alone, The darkness continued both day and night; As I child I walked in terror, The darkness continued both day and night; I was raped as a teenager, The darkness continued both day and night; WhenContinue reading “Helpless, Until I Was Not”

The Fangs of Darkness

Why do I bring up evil? It is the one thing that most counselors don’t speak of. It is not the subject of healing mantras and seldom is it recognized in trauma recovery. That doesn’t mean it’s not real and the very essence of incest. Do I love the family members that I came through?Continue reading “The Fangs of Darkness”