Sunday Morning Coming Down

Sundays – a day for families, a day for reflection, a day to be still. Maybe, a day for renewed hope. All of my life I have struggled with love. What does it mean? What does it look like? How do I get it? If you believe that God knew us while we were beingContinue reading “Sunday Morning Coming Down”

Hope Deferred Makes My Heart Sick

I have been waiting for God’s intervention in a demonstrative way for so many years I cannot recall the exact number. Maybe since I was born. I feel physically ill sometimes waiting and longing in hope for the vile ways of evil people to be exposed, for them to reap even a little bit; somethingContinue reading “Hope Deferred Makes My Heart Sick”

Mocking the Despair of the Innocent

I have often wondered if God is guilty of neglecting me? What sin did I do to cause the abuse and pain that was shot into my life when I was born? What atrocity had I done, when at 18, I married a man to find freedom from my prison – only to receive anotherContinue reading “Mocking the Despair of the Innocent”

How I Learned to See Myself

I never felt worthy of looking at me. I was taught that was a part of selfishness. No one stopped and asked me anything and that further my preoccupation with those around me. I was taught only to look at others. That’s a pretty dismal existence. I didn’t realize that was setting me up toContinue reading “How I Learned to See Myself”

The Poisoned Tongue of Deception

Incest is born and then covered up. It’s what makes the territory so treacherous to walk out of. My parents feared my voice. I could ruin them with it. So, they hide me in their lies. They told me time and time again I would be unable to withstand them and tell the truth. NoContinue reading “The Poisoned Tongue of Deception”

Vain & Empty Success

When I was a teenager, I heard the other girls talking about what kind of house they would live in, if it would have a fence or not and when they thought they’d be married. I had no such notions. I just needed to get out of my parents’ home alive. All through the years,Continue reading “Vain & Empty Success”

My Rampant Heart of Rage

Anger is a necessary part of the healing process. Rage is the master! I can remember time and time again my great counselor advising me to go into the woods with a baseball bat and beat my rage out against the trees. I never took his advice but I probably should have. Instead, I letContinue reading “My Rampant Heart of Rage”

A Noose Around My Neck

Suicide is a funny gift I used to analyze from time to time. It seemed to me a reckoning that my soul longed for. I’m not sure why that is but I knew I had an agonizing pain and I wanted it to stop at all costs. Seemed to me that death would end itContinue reading “A Noose Around My Neck”

The Scream of the Brokenhearted

Why do friends and family abandon people who suffer? Some can’t handle the intense environment – they don’t want to be around pain and suffering. It’s too uncomfortable. For others, they have little sympathy and hear everything as whining or victimhood. Cry for your pain, anyway! Wear your suffering on your sleeve until you noContinue reading “The Scream of the Brokenhearted”

The Persuasion of Punishment

“Why didn’t you tell somebody if your abuse was so bad?” These clever folks speak to you about something they know nothing of – being a child of severe sexual, physical and psychological abuse. Do they not understand the fear that was instilled into my little being? Not only was my body pierced by theContinue reading “The Persuasion of Punishment”