Being “special” is an act of manipulation that abusers use all the time. The special time together, the special bond you share, the special time you get — we can walk on in life and hold onto these special times. Or we can begin to decipher the hidden message of abuse. My father treated meContinue reading “Spoiled or Neglected”
Tag Archives: faith
Trembling with Anxiety
It is a funny phenomena — I was never really scared of the outside world. My deepest fears always lived inside homes. That’s where I have always been hurt. I remember my counselor and I discussing how to keep myself safe. We’d run through different scenarios — like waking up and having an intruder inContinue reading “Trembling with Anxiety”
Isolation = Vulnerability
We need connection. Period. I know that people are the very thing that broke my world. When I couldn’t trust anyone, I trusted God. I have learned that isolating myself (which I was formerly very fond of) did nothing good for me. I may have perceived safety by being alone, but isolation is lonely andContinue reading “Isolation = Vulnerability”
Courage to Defeat
Do you have the courage it takes to defeat those that hurt you? For years and years I did not. I let everyone walk right over me. In front of my face I can recall my mother ridiculing me, my ex-husband speaking so terribly to me that his own father defended me. Why did IContinue reading “Courage to Defeat”
Controlled Anger
Tears have streamed down my face as I’ve been offered let down after let down in life. Example: My oldest daughter is hit in the face by her father. The police come and arrest him. During the interview, she tells the police officer and later child protective services that her father sexually abused her. Outcome:Continue reading “Controlled Anger”
“Few people have the imagination for reality.”
Quote from Johann Wolfgang von Goethe a German poet, playwright and novelist, considered the greatest German literary figure of the modern era. He died in 1832. The courage to see reality has been around a very long time. Memory screams for interpretation, so it seems. Or does it? And, who should give that interpretation? TheContinue reading ““Few people have the imagination for reality.””
F N’ F
On the discussion of fear — Which will you choose? Denial or proclamation? “The conflict between the will to deny horrible events and the will to proclaim them aloud is the central dialectic of psychological trauma.” Trauma and Recovery by Judith Lewis Herman
F N’ F
On the discussion of fear — “Do you fear evil?“ You should, right? Well, not if you know the truth. Jesus came to defeat evil. Why is that important? Childhood trauma leaves an imprint of fear on the heart of a child. I feared just about everything when I left my parents’ home. It wasContinue reading “F N’ F”
Is Rejection the Real Culprit?
Pain, mercy, abuse – it’s all born out of rejection. When my father was dying he and I had a six-hour conversation. We talked about a lot. I asked him who hadn’t seen his pain. I pushed the question again, saying, “Dad, was it your mother who didn’t see your pain?” He looked down atContinue reading “Is Rejection the Real Culprit?”
F N’ F
On the discussion of fear — what if Father God asked you, “Why do you fear me?“ I feared God for so many years. In ways, I still do. It is very hard to separate what I learned through my early years in a home of incest. I feared my earthly father greatly. My mom,Continue reading “F N’ F”