A Rush to Evil

Why don’t we talk more about incest in our socieites at large? The trauma is lifelong and threatens lives daily. Every nine minutes a child is abused in the US, and this is a global problem. Shame is discussed at great length around the world. Brene Brown is best known for her TedTalks on theContinue reading “A Rush to Evil”

Spoiled or Neglected

Being “special” is an act of manipulation that abusers use all the time. The special time together, the special bond you share, the special time you get — we can walk on in life and hold onto these special times. Or we can begin to decipher the hidden message of abuse. My father treated meContinue reading “Spoiled or Neglected”

Controlled Anger

Tears have streamed down my face as I’ve been offered let down after let down in life. Example: My oldest daughter is hit in the face by her father. The police come and arrest him. During the interview, she tells the police officer and later child protective services that her father sexually abused her. Outcome:Continue reading “Controlled Anger”

Excuse Me?

Did you call me a liar? Let me ask you this, “Have you lived through my experience?” “Were you next to me when my memory returned?” The night hour sweats as another scene gorged its way through my denial. The terror of going to sleep. The body aches that returned as I walked through theContinue reading “Excuse Me?”

What Are Cherished Childhood Memories?

All the years I’ve spent in a counselor’s office trying to sift through the rubble of my childhood and heal, I never encountered the priceless, cherished moments that populate the early years of most. They just weren’t a commodity I was raised with. I’m not being a victim by sharing this, it’s just factual. AsContinue reading “What Are Cherished Childhood Memories?”

Dissociated, Disjointed & Denial

The three D’s of survival. When I watched my father kill tiny kittens on a rough block of wood, I reached into my tool bag and sorted through my survival skills. Which of the three D’s would I use? Any of them could work. When I watched the blood seeping out of one of theContinue reading “Dissociated, Disjointed & Denial”

Mighty Foes

We leave our abusers kicking and screaming. Why is that? Shouldn’t we want to run away as fast as we can? We glorify them in our minds and say the sexual abuse was sustainable – it really wasn’t that bad. If it was family, we take it a step further and go underground so weContinue reading “Mighty Foes”

Lame, But Not Disabled

I entered adult life lame. I was weak and fell behind the others around me. I married my first husband at 18 to get away from my parents. He, of course, was a classic abuser and royal asshole. My attempts to keep myself and my children safe around him, never seemed to work. I wasContinue reading “Lame, But Not Disabled”

Dad, You Should’ve Just Told the Truth

My story could have played out differently. It could have been immediately filled with grace for him. At once, forgiveness could have sat with us at a holiday table. Instead, he lied. I became despised and abhorred by his family. They are no longer my family. As a survivor of his crimes, I struggled toContinue reading “Dad, You Should’ve Just Told the Truth”

%d bloggers like this: