My Dearest Daughters,

Thank you for your letter last week. These are truthful and hard. Here’s my reply. I know that it’s difficult to sort through the rubble, expel the trash and keep only what is good. That’s what coming through trauma looks like. That process really can’t change but it does get easier. Being a parent, unlessContinue reading “My Dearest Daughters,”

My Dearest Daughters,

I thank you and respect your letter of last week. Here’s my reply. Memory can be kind, and memory can be cruel. Unfortunately, both are true. The one thing that remains is this: cutting away the bad memories does indeed reveal and leave more room for the good ones. With that the goal, let’s carryContinue reading “My Dearest Daughters,”

A Noose Around My Neck

Suicide is a funny gift I used to analyze from time to time. It seemed to me a reckoning that my soul longed for. I’m not sure why that is but I knew I had an agonizing pain and I wanted it to stop at all costs. Seemed to me that death would end itContinue reading “A Noose Around My Neck”

Wailing was Forbidden

After we moved from our home on Delaware Lane, I don’t remember crying. Well, the time I was bit in the face by our Doberman Pinscher, I cried. And, the time my mother left me at home all by myself – I cried then, too. What I am talking about are the tears that drainedContinue reading “Wailing was Forbidden”

Is Rejection the Real Culprit?

Pain, mercy, abuse – it’s all born out of rejection. When my father was dying he and I had a six-hour conversation. We talked about a lot. I asked him who hadn’t seen his pain. I pushed the question again, saying, “Dad, was it your mother who didn’t see your pain?” He looked down atContinue reading “Is Rejection the Real Culprit?”

A Gift of Righteousness

Clean and unclean. What does that really mean? Am I unclean because of the rapes and sexual assaults on my body? Can the act of another person relegate me to a life that is not worth anything? A life that is lowly and unclean? Absolutely not! The crimes that don’t come out of an actContinue reading “A Gift of Righteousness”

Am I, “All Done?”

Healing in our humanity is more of a journey than a destination. Sure, I can be done, if I choose to be done. Or, can I? Each time I cross another milestone and regain another piece of my inner structure back, I think to myself, “this time, I think I might be done with allContinue reading “Am I, “All Done?””

Little Red Riding Hood

Unlike the character in the story, I didn’t have to walk down a path in the forest to find the wolf, I lived with the wolf every day. The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) study assessed 17,000 patients’ experiences of childhood trauma, including: *Physical abuse *Verbal abuse *Sexual abuse *Physical or emotional neglect *Exposure to domesticContinue reading “Little Red Riding Hood”

Wailing was Forbidden

After we moved from our home on Delaware Lane, I don’t remember crying. Well, the time I was bit in the face by our Doberman Pinscher, I cried. And, the time my mother left me at home all by myself – I cried then, too. What I am talking about are the tears that drainedContinue reading “Wailing was Forbidden”

A Noose Around My Neck

Suicide is a funny gift I used to analyze from time to time. It seemed to me a reckoning that my soul longed for. I’m not sure why that is but I knew I had an agonizing pain and I wanted it to stop at all costs. Seemed to me that death would end itContinue reading “A Noose Around My Neck”