What a wretched time healing can be. When I denied my pain, ran around ignoring myself, it seemed an easier path. Well, I know this isn’t really true, but dang! Getting to know myself and being fully aware of most of my whole story has felt cruel. I actually know there are parts and parcelsContinue reading “Cowering From Myself”
Tag Archives: CPTSD
Teacher, Teach Me
What if you had no teacher? No direction? No one to show you a good way to go? Welcome to the world of incest. Oh, I was taught as a child. I was taught that lies are the same as truths. Facts don’t exist because they can be manipulated. Trust was earned through whole obedienceContinue reading “Teacher, Teach Me”
Unhealed Wounds
I wish I could give a bracelet of love to every human being that needs one. Some of us came from a territory that had no love in it. Unkept. Unwanted. Unloved. I wish I could just have kept the past hidden, away from the world’s view and, more importantly, away from my own view.Continue reading “Unhealed Wounds”
A Death Certificate
A certificate is an official document attesting a certain fact. Last night as I was falling asleep, I cried and chatted with the Lord. I conferred with Him that because the murdered woman in the ground has never been given a death certificate, I haven’t been able to grieve properly. I saw myself uncovering herContinue reading “A Death Certificate”
A Gate to Justice
A house with a white picket fence, two kids, a cat, a new car and a dedicated husband of 40 years just wasn’t in the cards for me. I’ve been married four times, have two children, no animals and life full of love. My first husband not only cheated on me every chance he could,Continue reading “A Gate to Justice”
My Inheritance
I would have no inheritance if I didn’t believe that I had a Father in heaven. Destructive families of incest do not reward you for talking. You are rewarded for your silence. The institution of behavior that incest teaches is see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Then, I met a God whoContinue reading “My Inheritance”
Rolling Stones Don’t Collect Moss
A rolling stone gathers no moss is an old proverb, credited to Publilius Syrus. A common modern meaning is that a person must stay active to avoid stagnation. Sometimes my heart questions my inability to make peace with my abusers. I hear stories of restoration from some through forgiveness and love. I believe these stories toContinue reading “Rolling Stones Don’t Collect Moss”
A Gift of Righteousness
Clean and unclean. What does that really mean? Am I unclean because of the rapes and sexual assaults on my body? Can the act of another person relegate me to a life that is not worth anything? A life that is lowly and unclean? Absolutely not! The crimes that don’t come out of an actContinue reading “A Gift of Righteousness”
Echo of Hope
In Psalms 10, David is talking about an arrogant and wicked person. He says: His mouth is full of lies and threats; trouble and evil are under his tongue.8 He lies in wait near the villages; from ambush he murders the innocent.His eyes watch in secret for his victims;9 like a lion in cover he lies in wait.He lies in waitContinue reading “Echo of Hope”
Am I, “All Done?”
Healing in our humanity is more of a journey than a destination. Sure, I can be done, if I choose to be done. Or, can I? Each time I cross another milestone and regain another piece of my inner structure back, I think to myself, “this time, I think I might be done with allContinue reading “Am I, “All Done?””
