Coming through incest as a child, I fought alone. No one was beside me. Isn’t that the way it is for those of us that lived these tragedies? Who stood beside us? No one. Who protected us? No one. Did we learn the value of trust in our homes? I read I Corinthians 13 thisContinue reading “Warring Alone”
Tag Archives: CPTSD
Shame
Defined as: noun verb Victims of incest or childhood sexual crimes live under the scrutiny of shame. The question is: Where was this first imposed on the child? When you are two or three years old, how can you consciously do wrong? Isn’t the truth that we are taught wrong? What four year old walkedContinue reading “Shame”
When the Mind Forgets
Traumatic Amnesia Amnesia is usually the result of physical damage to areas of the brain from injury, disease, or alcoholism. Psychologic factors may also cause amnesia; a shocking or unacceptable situation may be too painful to remember, and the situation is then retained only in the subconscious mind. The technical term for this is repression.Continue reading “When the Mind Forgets”
What If I Tell & Nothing Happens?
What if you don’t tell, and more happens? The alternative to telling the truth is deafening. What if you tell and someone says you are a liar? Tell anyway. You know the truth. You know your story. What if I tell the truth and someone listens? Ah, that can be terrifying but you are onContinue reading “What If I Tell & Nothing Happens?”
Conniving
I had this fascinating dream. This little boy had been raped. I told him we needed to call the police immediately for this crime. He looked up through tears and said, “I could just forgive him.” Oh my heart be still! These children that have no other method of survival simply want the pain toContinue reading “Conniving”
Casual Affair
Many address childhood trauma as if it were the same as not having a prom date for your high school gala. This couldn’t be farther from the truth and adds insult to injury. There was a prophet in the Old Testament named Jeremiah. I love his words about God’s people who were being set upContinue reading “Casual Affair”
Wrestling with My Thoughts
The endurance to out smart my intellection has been challenging. Since I was tiny, I over think everything. Every mood that stood next to me — every action. Everything I’ve done wrong — everything I’ve done right. This left no room for imagination. I didn’t have time for that nonsense. I had to survive. NowContinue reading “Wrestling with My Thoughts”
Run Alongside
Side stepping emotions never works. The eruption of thought most often ends with feeling — at least for me. Expressing emotion can be frustrating. Recalling a traumatic time can be thought about for years. Applying emotion to that thought may never happen. When it does happen, healing occurs and that thought will begin to dissipateContinue reading “Run Alongside”
Teacher, Teach Me
What if you had no teacher? No direction? No one to show you a good way? Welcome to the world of incest. Oh, I was taught as a child. Taught that lies are the same as truths. Facts don’t exist because they can be manipulated. Trust was earned through whole obedience to the master ofContinue reading “Teacher, Teach Me”
Love Does Not Conquer All
Sometimes, we have families to heal the legacy of our pasts. We date and marry to be loved into existence. But it never works. We know it doesn’t work. So why do we use the most innocent creatures on earth to try an achieve intactness? We have children as a continuation of a lie …Continue reading “Love Does Not Conquer All”
A Prisoner By No Crime of My Own 