I had a fantastic counselor. I’ll refer to him as Red. Red helped guide me into change. I reflect often on the lessons I’ve learned with him and would not hesitate to call him if I needed his loving guidance again. I’ve been with him for over 15 years. He may be the longest, constantContinue reading “Plucked from the Womb”
Tag Archives: CPTSD
Just Hold On
Sometimes the only strength I had left in my being was just the ability to get through one more day. So, that’s just what I did. I held on for one more day. When I was going through the memories of the murder through nightmares, flashbacks, and work with my counselor, I lived in aContinue reading “Just Hold On”
A Treasury of Trust
No deposit was ever made in me as a child from my parents that would have led me to believe in trust. That’s a great big inadequacy in a human being. Another broken spot. Another spec folks find in me and place additional blame and just another place to find no meaning. As I satContinue reading “A Treasury of Trust”
Mocking the Despair of the Innocent
I have often wondered if God is guilty of neglecting me? What sin did I do to cause the abuse and pain that was shot into my life when I was born? What atrocity had I done, when at 18, I married a man to find freedom from my prison – only to receive anotherContinue reading “Mocking the Despair of the Innocent”
The Gift Waiting, When I Used My Voice
When I first began talking about my past, I was envious of those who did wrong in my life. It felt like they had all the power and I had none. Their schemes were being played out right before my very eyes. My words, my Truth, did not seem to deter them. They were prosperousContinue reading “The Gift Waiting, When I Used My Voice”
What’s a Diagnosis Have to Do With It?
Sure, they’re needed for insurance companies to foot the bill of counseling but I certainly didn’t need one nor do I want one. From the book The Body Keeps the Score, Chapter 9: What’s Love Got to Do with It: “The first serious attempt to create a systematic manual of psychiatric diagnoses occurred in 1980,Continue reading “What’s a Diagnosis Have to Do With It?”
Bloodguilt
I am not saying I still believe that I’m guilty of murder, but being a witness was something that moved me on, made me turn over stones and hunt for evidence. All my life, I knew something happened in a motel room with my father and his best friend, Craig. I always assumed that they’dContinue reading “Bloodguilt”
Xactly! You’re Not My Family
Reading this now, it seems pathetic. At the time I wrote it, I was desperate. I’m not sure what I was begging for, but I was going to the wrong source. He answered my email with some bullshit reply about going back to “an old line church” so I wouldn’t be so miserable. Here’s myContinue reading “Xactly! You’re Not My Family”
