An Empty Mind

When you leave abusive, incestuous homes, not only are you on auto-pilot but your mind becomes vacant and void. I always felt like I merely stumbled from one situation to another. That’s why I held onto relationships at all costs, because I was terrified to be alone. I didn’t trust myself and without my storyContinue reading “An Empty Mind”

Discipline, A Catalyst for Change

I hated discipline. Every form of it. Until I learned that disciple is not punishment. Growing up we were punished for every slight infraction we made in my father’s kingdom. If you spoke or behaved inappropriately, a leather belt was waiting to connect with your raw skin. If you didn’t wash the dishes just rightContinue reading “Discipline, A Catalyst for Change”

The Rudimentary Need for Evidence

I’ve worked in law firms for over 30 years. I’ve watched cases won, rights be fully restored and Indian casinos opened in return for what was taken. What I have never seen is evidence manufactured. Lack of evidence is a devastating theme in the world of childhood trauma. Whatever the crime, scarcely is there evidenceContinue reading “The Rudimentary Need for Evidence”

The Well of My Soul

I believe that God saw that I was unloved as a child. That’s why He found me. The well of my tiny soul had no water and my eyes gave no light. Then, I met Him. In my room at the age of three, pegged against a wall of suffering, waiting for my body toContinue reading “The Well of My Soul”

Too Much, Too Little, Too Late?

Can’t healing just be exhausting? Wasn’t it hard enough just living through chronic abuse? Now we’re being tasked to heal! Oh, brother. It gets old. Doesn’t it? I’ll tell you what gets older than working on healing the past – NOT healing the past. That’s a straight-up train wreck. I’m 57 years old now andContinue reading “Too Much, Too Little, Too Late?”

Neglected, But Not Destroyed

Like trying to dance in a field of thorns, so it is for the broken to walk through life. There wasn’t a piece of my childhood that was protected or safe. Nothing mattered when it came to who I was. I was just meant for the pleasure, or hatred, of those I was born to.Continue reading “Neglected, But Not Destroyed”

Blood Thirsty

Society is too easy on abusers. They just are. These men and woman who rape and mangle the innocent – they know what they’re doing. They are calculated creatures who spend their time deceiving and changing the truth to fiction. Why is it so hard for folks to believe these abusers are fully aware ofContinue reading “Blood Thirsty”

Incest

What a label to wear around your neck, huh! Well, I’m so much more than the word indicates. As defined in Merriam-Webster, incest is “sexual intercourse between persons so closely related that they are forbidden by law to marry.” I wonder if this is the right word for children that are forced to have intercourseContinue reading “Incest”