Mocking the Despair of the Innocent

I have often wondered if God is guilty of neglecting me? What sin did I do to cause the abuse and pain that was shot into my life when I was born? What atrocity had I done, when at 18, I married a man to find freedom from my prison – only to receive anotherContinue reading “Mocking the Despair of the Innocent”

Courage and the Coward

My father was a small man that lived like a giant. His wife adored him. I was their youngest child. Together they built a world that few ever saw into – except their children. The saddest part is that many of their children didn’t have the courage to fully look either. What is the differenceContinue reading “Courage and the Coward”

When Have I Been Shown Mercy?

Mercy is showing compassion or forgiveness towards someone whom it is within one’s power to punish or harm. Over 20 years ago, my family came as one unit and confronted my father about the incest in our family. After that meeting, my parents contacted the pastor of the church they attended and asked that heContinue reading “When Have I Been Shown Mercy?”

I Didn’t Start This War

Prejudice exists. I’m judged and categorized so often for my upbringing and it gets old. I’d be much more acceptable to them if I didn’t stand by my right to speak. Uncomfortable and unending, the opinions around me fly. Why don’t they be quiet? I didn’t ask them, did I? My battle scars are aContinue reading “I Didn’t Start This War”

How I Learned to See Myself

I never felt worthy of looking at me. I was taught that was a part of selfishness. No one stopped and asked me anything and that further my preoccupation with those around me. I was taught only to look at others. That’s a pretty dismal existence. I didn’t realize that was setting me up toContinue reading “How I Learned to See Myself”

The Poisoned Tongue of Deception

Incest is born and then covered up. It’s what makes the territory so treacherous to walk out of. My parents feared my voice. I could ruin them with it. So, they hide me in their lies. They told me time and time again I would be unable to withstand them and tell the truth. NoContinue reading “The Poisoned Tongue of Deception”

I’m Sorry They Won’t Listen

Everyone around me gets the privilege of recalling & telling childhood memories – except for me. Everyone reminisces about the stuff that made them who they are – except, I can’t. I’m sorry they won’t allow me to share my stuff. It made me who I am – except, I can’t share that part. TheyContinue reading “I’m Sorry They Won’t Listen”

Vain & Empty Success

When I was a teenager, I heard the other girls talking about what kind of house they would live in, if it would have a fence or not and when they thought they’d be married. I had no such notions. I just needed to get out of my parents’ home alive. All through the years,Continue reading “Vain & Empty Success”

My Rampant Heart of Rage

Anger is a necessary part of the healing process. Rage is the master! I can remember time and time again my great counselor advising me to go into the woods with a baseball bat and beat my rage out against the trees. I never took his advice but I probably should have. Instead, I letContinue reading “My Rampant Heart of Rage”