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A Soft Place to Land

Knowing Good from Evil

Growing up in the dysfunction of incest caused so many truths to be unknown to me. When my daughter was about five, she asked me a question that hurt my heart to the core. I was putting her down one night and she said, “Mommy, how will I know when someone is bad? Dad isContinue reading “Knowing Good from Evil”

What Was My Reward?

As I tell my story, I’m also listening to the stories of others. A common theme is the need for the abuser’s validation or some form of love that brings a sense of reconciliation. I’m abhorred at that. If God is involved in the situation, I can see His love coming in and helping theContinue reading “What Was My Reward?”

The Lone Survivor

Incest is a particularly cruel beast. I wasn’t just subjected to inhumane treatment at the hands of my family, I also had to choose what side of the road I was going to stand on. For years, I tried to stay with that corrupt family. It just didn’t work for me. I learned later thatContinue reading “The Lone Survivor”

Bloodguilt

I am not saying I still believe that I’m guilty of murder, but being a witness was something that moved me on, made me turn over stones and hunt for evidence. All my life, I knew something happened in a motel room with my father and his best friend, Craig. I always assumed that they’dContinue reading “Bloodguilt”

Disabled By My Abilities

I have endured too much abuse at the hands of others because of my dissociative behaviors. Let me explain. “Dissociation means simultaneously knowing and not knowing.” Body keeps the score, VAN der kolk, m.d., page 121 You read that right. “When you don’t feel real nothing matters, which makes it impossible to protect yourself fromContinue reading “Disabled By My Abilities”

When Jesus Met Me

It wasn’t after a long night running with wild, crazy horses – or binging on cocaine and lemon drops. That’s not where He met me. He met me as a little girl. Pegged against a closet door in the bedroom of a tiny dismal house on Deleware Lane. I was shaking from the rape ofContinue reading “When Jesus Met Me”

The Clowns of Mockery

“Who are you to tell our story? Incest is a family secret. You have no right to share it.” These are the voices of the clowns that try to impede my path to healing. “You’re fat and you should worry about that! You’re sick because of what you came from; that will never change.” OnContinue reading “The Clowns of Mockery”

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