Posting the pictures of Dad and Craig yesterday, or telling my story time and time again, I feel a slight tug of fear. I also fear their old regime where I had to listen to them, and be loyal to them at all costs to myself. That is not my reality today, only because IContinue reading “What Can They Do to You?”
Author Archives: Just Jodie
Cast Down, But Not Broken
The waves of discovery continue to come in and I welcome them. I was sent some pictures of my father and his best friend in the 60s. They were young men and they seemed very much in love. I remember their adoration for each other when I was a child. Together, they adored us children,Continue reading “Cast Down, But Not Broken”
A Conscience Confession
Many struggles met me when I was actively redeeming the parts of my past that needed healing. One of the hardest for me was going back and confronting the people who hurt me. When my mind’s eye was closed and I didn’t see their crimes, it was much easier for me to be around myContinue reading “A Conscience Confession”
Cowering From Myself
What a wretched time healing can be. When I denied my pain, ran around ignoring myself, it seemed an easier path. Well, I know this isn’t really true, but dang! Getting to know myself and being fully aware of most of my whole story has felt cruel. I actually know there are parts and parcelsContinue reading “Cowering From Myself”
Timeline of Two Lives: The Victim & the Murderer
This is the timeline of two lives that very likely intersected in Vancouver, Washington, on State Route 14. The woman was most likely returning to her children in Goldendale, Washington. Madeline did not drive. She took the Greyhound bus when she traveled, when not with a friend. The Greyhound bus station was relatively close toContinue reading “Timeline of Two Lives: The Victim & the Murderer”
Jewels, Gems & Gunpowder
I would love to hear from you! Sharing Saturday with you. Jewel: I am not the darkness I came through. As we heal and retell our stories, it seems like the darkness is a persuasive constant. Healing takes you through some very dark places. I am reminded that I don’t have to camp there –Continue reading “Jewels, Gems & Gunpowder”
U C U
I couldn’t help being born into people who would put me in a prison by their crimes. But, I can do something about what I now spend my time gazing at and it’s not them. They say we have no control over the past and it’s true. I can tell my story now as aContinue reading “U C U”
A “Childless” Child
No child lived within me after the age of 3. I was grown by then. Given over fully to a life of survival. I don’t remember what act brought me to the threshold of the death of my inner child. Was it the death of a stranger I’d witnessed or was it the sexual assaultContinue reading “A “Childless” Child”
I Hate . . . Myself
I’ve spent too much of my life feeling responsible for the crimes that were done against me. The last time I saw my mother, I felt that old burden of responsibility creeping in, the desire to not to blame her and leave the shame she ladled into my life with her. I felt a needContinue reading “I Hate . . . Myself”
A Dismal Affair
Oh the time I spent courting and tending to my pain. It was with me as a lover, as an intimate friend. It was all I ever knew – once. I served my pain with decadent (or not so decadent) food! Sometimes I would gorge myself with it for hours. I would bring it wineContinue reading “A Dismal Affair”
