Shame Blooms in Darkness

Shame is a dark creature of the night. It was also a creature that was handed down to me in my youth. I didn’t see that my parents dripped with shame when I was growing up – and, maybe they didn’t. You have to know what you’re doing is wrong first. Maybe some people justContinue reading “Shame Blooms in Darkness”

War on Childhood Crimes

I read an article by Erica Terry titled, Sexual Abuse and the Hidden Children of the Holocaust. From that article, she writes: In fact, the pain of sexual abuse often impacts childhood survivors far greater than other losses and traumas endured during the Holocaust. In a 2006 study, the first of its kind, Professor Rachel Lev-Wiese ofContinue reading “War on Childhood Crimes”

Little Red Riding Hood

Unlike the character in the story, I didn’t have to walk down a path in the forest to find the wolf, I lived with the wolf every day. The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) study assessed 17,000 patients’ experiences of childhood trauma, including: *Physical abuse *Verbal abuse *Sexual abuse *Physical or emotional neglect *Exposure to domesticContinue reading “Little Red Riding Hood”

Useless

Going back and asking your abusers to help you is about as much good as a wet match. I witnessed a murder. I watched a woman leave this planet. She took her last breathe while I was watching. That’s a wretched thing to leave undone. As I’ve written, my father’s best friend at the time,Continue reading “Useless”

Judgment Day

God is not so unjust to forget these treacherous deeds done in darkness and done in the full spectrum of daylight. He remembers because He was and is our witness. Hear me, Lord, my plea is just;    listen to my cry.Hear my prayer—    it does not rise from deceitful lips.2 Let my vindication come from you;    may your eyes see what isContinue reading “Judgment Day”

Diabolical & Destructive

12 The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” genesis 3:12 My mother was both an accomplice and a dictator. Often, abusive mother’s go unnoticed in the world of sexual crimes. That should not be so. Sometimes they are silent witnesses, sometimes theyContinue reading “Diabolical & Destructive”

A Keen Connection to Kin

To doublethink is mandatory when you are a child who has experienced abuse. Another example of doublethink is thinking on the one hand that you have no hope of escape and on the other hand that it will be better tomorrow. It is, literally, double thinking. Somehow the mind splits so that both realities canContinue reading “A Keen Connection to Kin”

A Deadened Reality

Oh, the gifts I continually received as a child of incest. A deadened reality was certainly one of my biggest gifts. My emotions took a brutal hit. The sustained abuse disconnected me not only from my body but also my emotions. I was too young to sort through the grand onslaught of all the emotionalContinue reading “A Deadened Reality”

Scars of Dichotomies

A dichotomy is a difference between two completely opposite ideas or things. Growing up with incest in my home bred this constantly. A parent is supposed to love, support and protect. Mine did the very opposite. A parent should teach guidance about protecting your body against sexual advances from strangers. Ah, clearly, they took advantage ofContinue reading “Scars of Dichotomies”