Still Water

Traversing childhood traumatic experiences leaves my soul wandering sometimes. It is as if it took all the stillness out of my being. Relearning? Relearn what? I was never taught anything about stillness. Sure, I had to sit still. I had to be calm for my father, but stillness – internally, you know the thing thatContinue reading “Still Water”

A Pierced Heart

It’s tragic to watch the heart of the innocent long for the protection and love of their abusers. Tragedy lives in the soul of those that cannot break free from this. This feeling is not love, but darkness. This kind of darkness pierces your heart and doesn’t let go. It wants to drain the lifeContinue reading “A Pierced Heart”

If Grace Were a Rainbow

The rainbow is a symbol of God’s faithfulness and mercy. In the “rainbow around the throne,” ( Revelation 4:3 ) it is seen as the symbol of hope and the bright emblem of mercy and love, all the more true as a symbol because it is reflected from the storm itself. In the Genesis account, aContinue reading “If Grace Were a Rainbow”

A Bubble of Satisfaction

I’ve wrestled with my thoughts for most of my life. Truly. As a child, I was a contemplative little girl. I had to be. It seemed no one else in my house had a thought past their nose. Unfortunately, that created a cavern of anxiety in my small being. Anxiety has been my friend longerContinue reading “A Bubble of Satisfaction”

Anguish Squelched

When you give voice to your pain it suppresses the outputĀ of anguish. What do I mean? The last time I spoke with my mother and oldest sister, I gave words to my anguish. So much so I sounded like a screeching ostrich, I suppose. The next morning, my husband came to me and said, “MaybeContinue reading “Anguish Squelched”

Living Water

I’ve written before about the many gifts my father gave me as a child. The spirit of religion happened to be one of those. He took my virginity and taught me about his god. His god was cruel, inflicted judgment and pain, and constantly gave me rules I couldn’t or wouldn’t want to follow. IncestContinue reading “Living Water”

The Discernment of Discouragement

On this journey I’ve had to cast the courage to care so many times. I’ve wanted to quit, give up, stay with inappropriate people and just stop caring. The more I cared, the more I had to work at discovering the hidden evils around me. I remember telling Redmond, my counselor of many years, “CanContinue reading “The Discernment of Discouragement”