Have you ever met an abuser who didn’t lie? I haven’t. King David wrote the Psalms — he’s one of my favorite authors in the bible. Here’s what he said about liars, You love every harmful word, O you deceitful tongue! psalms 52-4 David, more than a king, was a warrior, singer, poet and aContinue reading “Liars”
Author Archives: Gracedxoxo
Purity and Protection
Sometimes I’m envious when I hear a life unweathered by the storms of childhood sexual abuse. They come complete with items I just didn’t grow up with. Things like protection, innocence — peace. I longed for those things. They other afternoon, I closed my eyes to breathe in for a minute. A white-feathered waist lengthContinue reading “Purity and Protection”
Jewels, Gems & Gunpowder
I would love to hear from you! Sharing Saturday with you. Jewel: Overcome with grief I carry on. All the injustices that go unnoticed in this world. All the rapes and murders that no one sees or even seems to care about. Where is the justice for these crimes? Sometimes it seems there is noContinue reading “Jewels, Gems & Gunpowder”
Pearls
Healing is like a knotted strand of pearls. Pearls are knotted to keep all of them from falling off the strand if it breaks and also to ensure the individual pearls aren’t damaged through rubbing and bumping each other. Handling abusive memories, unpleasant thoughts and crafted healing looks much the same. Through the years IContinue reading “Pearls”
Stoic and Distant
Only during sexual abuse is the pedophile present in a child’s life. The rest of the relationship is spent away from each other. There may be an occasional game or ice cream social together, but the reality is the attention you receive is while you are being abused. Many children misinterpret this and deem itContinue reading “Stoic and Distant”
Casually Comfortable
Childhood brought me no warm blankets. There were no bedtime stories to think about as I fell into sleep. No comforts that would ease my anguish. Navigating life has been odd for me. Definitions of comfortable meant for me the lack of internal pain. That’s probably not how most people would describe it. Comfortable isContinue reading “Casually Comfortable”
Truthtelling
Telling the truth has done more for my healing than anything else. I wanted to change my story — make the ending different. But, that just wouldn’t be the truth. If I had married a different man to have children with I wouldn’t have my two beautiful daughters. Their father was an abusive brute ofContinue reading “Truthtelling”
Pain is a Pansy
The Urban Dictionary defines a pansy as weak and hyper sensitive, often acting like everything is a bigger problem than it actually is, and in most cases, beats themselves up over stupid things. Isn’t that precisely what it feels like to live with pain? While encased in the throws of deep healing, I was a bit ofContinue reading “Pain is a Pansy”
Clasp Your Hands
The healing balm that God offers lives nowhere else. Modalities of healing are fine. They don’t carry the ability to heal a broken heart. Deeply stricken during my darkest memories, sometimes all I had was to go to bed, pull the covers up, hold my bible tightly to my chest and pray. It’s what savedContinue reading “Clasp Your Hands”
Diving for Memories
Memories for the abused are unwanted. In conversation, the goal is to listen to the person I’m talking with. People love sharing their stories and I’m a good listener. My memories aren’t worth being shared. A pretender I am not. Fishing through the past I could throw away all the burdensome darkness or I couldContinue reading “Diving for Memories”
A Prisoner By No Crime of My Own 