The instinct to self-preserve can be strong. Especially after grief or heartache or worse.
This instinct of self-preservation can protect us from repeating mistakes and experiencing pain, but it can also prevent us from living life to the fullest.
A full life is made of a wide range of experiences, and some of these experiences will be unpleasant.
Job situations change. People and pets become ill and die. Relationships end.
Avoidance based on fear will not protect you from experiencing pain but it will prevent you from growing and learning and evolving and deepening connections with yourself, others and even God.
Too-intense self preservation will steal your peace.
Getting hurt by people is hard. Getting hurt by what God allows can feel unbearable. While I might phrase my disillusionment as a question of why or how, when I lay my head on my tear-soaked pillow, questions can turn into bitter feelings (and have).
Since trust in relationships is built in part with good communication, then more effectively praying has to play a role in my trust with God – that has been a new one for me. Up until now, with prayer, I’ve expected too little of God and too much of myself. I’ve expected an infinite God to reduce His vast ways of doing things down to only what I can think up and pray for.
Yes, people may create chaos that’s not from God. And yes, the brokenness of this world may bring brokenness to my reality. But in the midst of this, there is good provision from God! That’s what I must look for and make the choice to see.