Introspection — what better way to start a week.
Question: Don’t I deserve to know myself fully?
Traumatic Amnesia
Medical dictionary – emphasis added
Amnesia is usually the result of physical damage to areas of the brain from injury, disease, or alcoholism. Psychologic factors may also cause amnesia; a shocking or unacceptable situation may be too painful to remember, and the situation is then retained only in the subconscious mind.
The technical term for this is repression. (See also dissociative disorders).
Rarely is the memory completely obliterated. When amnesia results from a single physical or psychologic incident, such as a concussion suffered in an accident or a severe emotional shock, the victim may forget only the incident itself; the victim may be unable to recall events occurring before or after the incident or the order of events may be confused, with recent events imputed to the past and past events to recent times. In another form, only certain isolated events are lost to memory.
Amnesia victims usually have a good chance of recovery if there is no irreparable brain damage. The recovery is often gradual, the memory slowly reclaiming isolated events while others are still missing. Psychotherapy may be necessary when the amnesia is due to a psychologic reaction.
Reading this makes my soul tarry. I’m so sadden by the time I spent lost in dissociative patterns, not remembering all the facts associated with my childhood. I simply could not. It was too terrorizing — too much for my psyche to take.
So, I left it behind. Until it gradually began returning to me. None of it was fully gone as glimpses of the decay caught my mind from time to time. I’d reason it away — until I couldn’t.
If you have breakthroughs — trust them. It’s your mind bringing you back now because you are safe.