There is a saying that “Jesus was born to die.” If Jesus was born to die, I was birthed to suffer.
I don’t recall a day in my childhood that didn’t have suffering in it. Maybe I had moments where I enjoyed something – an ice cream, a bike ride, but there was always embedded in my soul the song of suffering. I speak that with full clarity.
The beautiful thing is that I have now changed that story. I might have been birthed into a diseased, sin-ridden family but I no longer live at that address. And you don’t have to either!
These emeshed, sick relationships keep us stuck. Recruited into darkness as children, those relationships hover over us and suffocate any light. The comingling with families of incest will always keep you in pain.
Get out! Get away from them. It’s okay to love them but stop listening to the story they tell. They don’t love you or your wouldn’t have come through so much trauma and pain. You must believe that! There is no love there. You are losing little by leaving but I know in the beginning it feels like a tremendous loss. No family.
I’ll leave this question: Is it better to sleep in a bed of snakes or stand alone in the desert?
You won’t stand alone for long. I know that to be true.