On the discussion of fear — Do you fear relationships?
How do you come through years of childhood tragedy and believe that people are safe? You don’t. That’s the real answer. If you think about it, it would be ridiculous to trust people. Why would you? Who has shown you safety? Who was trustworthy? Who looked out for your best interests?
In my case, my grandmother gave me the best sense of that, but it wasn’t enough to overshadow the looming dragons of my yesteryears. I would have been a moron to trust people. I didn’t trust my first husband of 17 years. I knew he betrayed me, betlittled me, and kept me in prison. Prison was all I knew. Captivity was something I was taught – almost created for in my family of origin.
Then, I’m told to trust. WTF! Are you seriously asking me to do that?
Lies and deceit were what I expected and lies and deceit were what I got. Until the day I decided I was done living with the rules of my past. ALL DONE!
I didn’t yet have new rules but I left that marriage. I left my family of origin. I began to forge a new path. It was scary but I learned. It brought me to a much safer place. Keep God at your helm and GO. LEAVE UNSAFE TERRITORIES.