F N’ F (Fear Not Friday)

On the discussion of fear — Do you fear your dreams?

Nightmares, night terrors, agony — that’s what pursued me through the night hours for most of my life. Dibilitating if I let them. Sleep was a burden to me, not something I looked forward to.

The duldrums of life persisted whether I was rested or not rested.

The agony of defeat when a nightmare once again plagued me.

Some nights I would go to sleep with my bible in my arms, praying that God would protect my mind from night horror. Sometimes I didn’t dream. Sometimes I would drink so much wine in a protective measure that I knew I’d knock myself out and not be able to dream. That’s a terrible way to live but I had to get up and get to work. If a nightmare woke me up, it was far worse than overdrinking.

Sad. So incredible sad. But, I made it. I don’t have to get drunk to sleep through the night these days. I just don’t have to. It feels so good to have that freedom. Last night I dreamt of little rabbits that were running lose down the hall. I found those little guys, picked them up with snuggles, and brought them back to their den. What a remarkable dream to have. Finally free.

Do you still have nightmares?

Published by Gracedxoxo

I have the courage to tell my story to help others embrace theirs.

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