My healing has been a long process and is one that is ongoing. But slowly, I am finding freedom. I finally believe the truth I had been too hurt to listen to for all those years. The truth that the guarded walls of my heart would not let penetrate.
I final started to believe I was loved, free & forgiven. God saw me and all my sin and still called me beloved daughter.
Until only recently did I ever feel like God was totally real to me.
I still feel that effect of the trauma I endured as a child and teenager, but when I let God come in and heal my heart, the effects lessen more and more each day.
I know now that the people who hurt me were battling unimaginable sin and evil in their hearts. I found the strength through God to forgive them, not because they deserved it, but because I did.
I am only now beginning to grasp the depth of Christ and His love and grace for me. However, I still have work to do. I am always going to be a work in progress. I will not “arrive” or be able to fully fathom and understand God’s ways in this life, no matter how much studying and praying I do.
But with a full heart, I am going to pursue Christ and His ways all the days of my life. It is only through His love that I have found healing and peace. His grace was and is sufficient to cover me, redeem me and use me for His glory.