Pain made me fall prey to all kinds of abuse as I grew and left my family of orgin. I had never been taught to say no. Rather, I was forced to comply as a child. That left me in a state where I was so easily persuaded. My compliance came at a very high price – my being had been abducted.
So, when I happened out into the world I wasn’t prepared for the slimballs I’d met — people who prey on folks like me. Did my father know what he was setting me up for? When my mother demanded my silence, did she know the price I would pay at the hands of others?
They don’t care, but I do!
At 35 when I left my first abusive marriage, I was on a rebellious run. I still didnt know how to stop what was happening to me until I entered counseling. I had to unlearn a lot. It’s strange to me that I had to learn what comes natural to animals – protection. I had learned none of it. I was taught I had no protection. I was a pin cushion for anybody – anytime!
That changes a person. It effects and leds their steps for years and year and years. After that marriage I didn’t live with another partner for 13 years. Oh, I was in and out of bad relationship to other abusive partners, but I didn’t move in with anybody. I was finally learning a little self-protection.