On the discussion of fear — Do you fear GOD?
Coming through severe and chronic abuse, you bet I had a deep fear of God. Why wouldn’t I? Did God stop my father from raping me for years and years? Nope. Did God stop my mother from joining in the abuse? Nope? Did God stop the woman from being murdered? Nope.
Where was God’s protection over me as a child? It did not exist. Or, did it?
Some time before I left the house on Deleware Lane, I met Jesus. I hadn’t yet turned four. Not an apparition or anything crazy. I just knew Him. He was with me. The abuse didn’t stop for years, but His presence made it survivable.
Was I angry at God for years? Yes I was. It has taken me years to get my faith. It is not easy understanding how God allows such atrocities in life. Why didn’t he just take me out of my parents’ home?
The questions seem endless on the road of redemption, but this I have learned: God did not do it; God did not allow it; God can restore it.
Choice is a delicate balance of understanding. While we all want choice, we don’t want abusers to have choice. Unfortunately, it just doesn’t work that way. Choice exists for everyone under God’s laws. It sucks when that choice is used to harm children. And, God is always watching.
A person’s choice often doesn’t align with the choice God would make. It’s really that simple.
Most abusers align themselves with some form of godliness, thus, perpetuating the misguided sense of betrayal from God.
The audiobook of A Prisoner by No Crime of My Own is now available! It is 9 hours and 34 minutes long. Whew! Glad that’s behind me.
It will be available on Amazon, but you can also purchase it here: