Being “special” is an act of manipulation that abusers use all the time. The special time together, the special bond you share, the special time you get — we can walk on in life and hold onto these special times. Or we can begin to decipher the hidden message of abuse.
My father treated me special. I was his onnointed one (term used loosely). You know why? Pedophiles don’t lead with mistreatment, they lead with “love.” They strategically build their bond with you on the guise of relationship. So many times it is this “love card” that we must explore and expunge completely from our being. Many will not.
If you don’t look at the real issues surrounding your abuse and call it what it was — bad, detrimental, disgusting — you will never lead a life that is blessed with a true bond of love to another human being.
Watering down your sexual abuse will create a pattern of repeating that abuse in your life. I am not talking about abusing a child, I am talking about abusing yourself. If we whitewash the abuse we received, we will always select people who treat us the same way. It might look a little different, but the underlying circumstances will continue to play out in your life. What do I mean? Aggressive sex or no sex at all. Picking people who treat you like a secondclass citizen. Pornography. Masterbation. You get it.
Find the courage to face the truth. It is there that you will find the freedom you’re looking for. It doesn’t help you at all to deny it. There is no good thing about childhood sexual abuse – period!
Lyon, et al. Study showed:
- Most adult survey respondents reporting sexual abuse never disclosed as a child
- 60-80% percent of CSA victims delay disclosure until adulthood