I often get confused about codependency, interdependency, and what healthy attachment looks like in general. What does it feel like? How do I know I’m in a relationship with healthy levels of attachment?
Codependency is an unhealthy form of dependency, but it’s not dependency in and of itself that’s the problem.
There are healthy forms of dependency, otherwise known as interdependency, that make relationships stronger. But distinguishing codependency from interdependency can be tricky — especially if you haven’t experienced many healthy relationships yourself.
However, in codependent relationships, one person is doing most of the giving, but not being given much in return. Codependency can also be defined as being overly preoccupied with your partner to the point of losing your own sense of who you are and what you need This is a recipe for burnout, resentment, and dissatisfaction but also a good way to tell if there’s imbalance in the relationship.
With that being said: I’ve learned there’s nothing wrong with needing others, relying on others, and asking for help. Healthy dependency, involves a mutual give and take; both people give and receive support, encouragement, help, and so on. Don’t be afraid of healthy dependency … it can feel scary and engulfing but if it’s safe and the right kind, it can be the most nourishing thing for healing growth.