I overcame so many dark moments with the realization that I didn’t want my father to win—in the midst of all the pain (much of it caused by him), I didn’t want him to win.
I wanted to take my power back.
At some point, something inside me shifted into a determination for me to win, to live, and to make choices for myself that would give me freedom and the opportunity to live a life that I wanted, on my terms.
Every time I feel guilty, yearn for the connection of a father, question myself, my memory, my integrity… & travel back and forth to the land of self-doubt… I remind myself that someone will see this, know it wasn’t their fault, and recognize they have every right to demand outrage from themselves and others, outrage that exists because of having to hide such a defining moment.
But, this also is about strength and becoming stronger than the pain you have suffered. This is about normalizing the strength that your trauma gave birth to and becoming more. More of everything, but especially more power to those whose voices were ignored for too long.