Controlled Anger

Tears have streamed down my face as I’ve been offered let down after let down in life.

Example: My oldest daughter is hit in the face by her father. The police come and arrest him. During the interview, she tells the police officer and later child protective services that her father sexually abused her.

Outcome: No charges were ever brought. He stayed one night in jail for hitting her. Case over.

Example: Under no hypnosis at any time, I recall the detail of witnessing a murder. I build a case using my own money. I hire an PI to help me. I put together a notebook for what I’ve found and bring it to the police. They open a case and investigate.

Outcome: No charges or closure. Case closed based on a statement my mother made in 1968 securing an alibi for my father today.

Sometimes, I have wanted to rage! Cry! Scream. Instead, I internalize, shut down, and walk around believing that life holds no justice.

There were years when I just couldn’t control my anger. I used self-harm to shut it down but it came seeping out of my pours. I was pissed off at a world that didn’t, and still doesn’t, listen to most victims.

Using spoken and written words has helped me relieve some of the suffering. I’ve been asked why my book is so graphic in detailing the abuse. I can assure you it took courage to write that detail, damning my efforts to deny my past, but I had to. The story could only be told from the perspective of full truth. Every time I’d read a book on healing, I wanted the whole story — not a story told through a third-party counselor. I wanted to read a story that would make my pain easier. I wanted to read a book that sifted through the bullshit and told the honest, painful experience.

I couldn’t find that book, so I wrote it. Grab your copy today and walk with on the journey of healing. My prayer is that you will find yourself and your whole story through my words.

Warning: This book is not attended as a light read. It will trigger you and my prayer is that those triggers will lead you further into healing.

Published by Gracedxoxo

I have the courage to tell my story to help others embrace theirs.

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