Some of the patterns of treating ourselves unkindly start early on, in our homes, from the very people who are meant to keep us safe and feeling loved.
When I was a teen, after my father left, I picked up where he had left off. Didn’t even skip a beat really.
When your abuser is hyper critical of you, you become overly critical of yourself.
When they neglect you, you learn to neglect yourself.
When they abandon you, you learn to abandon yourself.
When they treat you hatefully, you learn to hate yourself.
Soon, abuse becomes second nature. Sometimes it even feels better than the happier alternative.
These patterns are hard, but not impossible, to reprogram. Once you see that what was told you about yourself was a lie, the healing becomes easier.