For a long time, being messing in my addiction was a way to demonstrate my pain to the outside world. It was a way to keep it in the faces of everyone who hurt me. By keeping my pain prominent, I would make sure that nobody forgot what happened to me.
Today, I don’t have that same burning need to make my pain visible. Because I have honored my pain, worked through it and has it validated by people who actually love me….the need to feel seen has all but evaporated.
Everything that makes our soul tremble, everything that makes us feel uncertain, fearful, and confused, has a very specific purpose from a HIGHER perspective, and every time you face your fears and anxieties that make you feel like you are stepping on sweltering grounds, you just UNRAVEL another, deeper layer of yourself within you, you never thought existed.
It is a beautiful process that will being you closer to your pain, yes, but also more at peace with it.
My pain still exists. The past has not been forgetter. But today, it doesn’t not need to define who I am.
B