On the discussion of fear — Do you fear you are like your abuser?
No! Most of us would say. But, let’s look closer.
Do you hate them?
Do you have them on a high pedestal of esteem through your active denial?
I used to smoke. Not that much – about a pack a week. But, there came this time when I was smoking constantly. I hired a hypnotherapist to come to my home to help me rid the disease of cigarettes *(insert smile face here). She began with all of her methodologies to bring under her spell. It didn’t work, so she sat down next to me.
She said, “Jodie, nothing I do will work for you. I am not able to bring you under my suggestion.
Then, she held up a cigarette and asked me, “What does this represent to you.”
My immediate response was, “My father. And, I miss him.”
She wisely spoke, “And I assume it’s not okay to miss him.”
Moral of the story — I don’t smoke any more but I did a lot of habits of my abusers to keep them close to me. After all they were my rule makers, they held the power (then), and they were family.
Be very careful that you are not emulating your abuser.
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