We are likely to keep repeating our unconscious patterns until we bring them into the light of awareness. Whatever is too difficult to process does not fade away on its own, but is rather stored away in our unconscious. Do not run from pain. Do not try and annihilate it in others. Stand in the discomfort and learn from it. It will teach you about yourself just as much as joy will.
Pain is your body flushing out past traumas and teaching us important aspects of ourselves. We are fighting against the tide by not accepting our pain.
If we are able to accept the positive experiences of our life, that bring us joy and happiness, without even questioning their origin or trying to avoid them, what if we did the same for the other emotions we fear so much, such as sadness, pain, fear, anger, and loneliness?
I learned that by embracing the darkness within my soul, all the while shining a light on it, I can better see the depth and darkness of my pain. It shows me where the source of my suffering resides and how I can better heal those parts.