Which would you choose? Who would knowingly choose famine?
When you stay in families of incest and eat at their holiday tables without an abuser having fully disclosed their secrets, fully acknowledged their abuse, fully repented for their actions and are receiving outside counseling, then you are living a life of famine.
Holidays can be a brutal time when you come through homes of incest. Keep yourself safe. Use these five measures to protect yourself this holiday season:
- #1 – Do you want to sit next to your abuser at the holiday table? If you don’t want to, DON’T DO IT!
- #2 – If you do not want to go to a holiday dinner because the abuser will be there, DON’T GO.
- #3 – Have you been protected from your abuser? If it’s still a secret, I wouldn’t stand for it. DON’T GO.
- #4 – Are you free to be who you want to be if you attend the family dinner or do they squelch your personhood? If they squelch you, DONT’ GO.
- #5 – Would you sit at any table that your rapist sat at without full disclosure and safety?
You matter. God would tell you — U C U (*you see you). Stop looking at what your family wants, what the abuser will do, and so on.
I learned a long time ago that spending time with my incestuous family was far worse than spending the holiday with people who truly cared for me or, alternatively, spending it alone. I was more cared for in my own presence, then in the presence of the abusers!