Abusers have such a gift to persuade. Their invasiveness seems so genuine. Like an offering of love. But, their trickery is disguised and you should avoid it like the plague.
I could have a sense of love and belonging to the family I came through. It would only cost me my integrity and I’d have to swallow the pill of bullshit, but I have the right to choose their ways, if I please.
Abusers are seductive. They come to you with a strong, pervasive love with an intent to derail you, but that’s not shown. Their actions appear to warrant your trust. They are wolves in sheep’s clothing, but you have to look close to decipher that.
Their lust bleeds over into your heart like a love potion. Just like a full glass of a beautiful red wine or a decedent, rich chocolate cake, you want them. You want your fill of them.
Do not follow them. Trust me. The end of their appetite is your destruction. I’ve seen it time and time again. Abusers ultimately do what they do — abuse you. The best abuse for them is in your willingness to believe their pity. They entice you with their words, but their actions are never equal to what they say.
Do not be deceived by them.
I feel the “church” has betrayed so many survivors of abuse, and severely those of us that came through incestuous families. The church has kept us in abusive patterns by not listening to our stories; by not returning fair judgment against abusers; by not giving a safe place to land for those that have been ravaged by abuse; and inadequately throwing around the phrase — “you just need to forgive them.”
If anyone hears a story from a survivor of childhood trauma, do your best to listen, not judge and encourage them to continue on the path forward. Give them all the support and love you can.
Shame on churches that shun stories of abuse. Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted and set the captive free. That should be the job of the “church.”