The grief that accompanies the losses of sexual abuse are intangible. Inexplicable. The healing process: destructive and painful. Unlike other forms of mending, survivors are ostracized, confused about loyalties, self-blaming, and unsupported. Families are torn apart and anchors obliterated. The healing process from sexual trauma HURTS. It’s not something we talk about enough.
Beginning with society that has decreed that silence around this topic is a must, and must remain taboo which then leads to collective silence and continued feeling of aloneness and abandonment first by the victim and then by extended others.
But grief can guide us. Grief can be a signal flare in the dark. It can show us how to mend and who to trust. But we must listen and we must be touched the flames of its pain before we can move forward in the process of becoming whole again. Grief is the great bridge to happiness and wholeness and beyond. But it is also the road on top of and through happiness…it carves right through it. Sometimes, you’re stuck on the grief train and you can only look at the beautiful landscape passing by but I promise you, the will be many stops along the way and you get to choose when it is time to get off. And even when you want to get back on again. Grief is part of the ride. Learn to master it and you’ve got life half-licked!