Forgiveness should create a safe distance between you and those that abused you. If you see forgiveness as reconciliation you are blending together two separate things.
Let’s look at these words a little closer.
What then is reconciliation? It is defined as: 1) the restoration of friendly relations; 2) the action of making one view or belief compatible with another.
Can you see how drastically different these two are? Forgiveness and reconciliation are two completely different things. They do not belong together and yet so many drive the two together as one.
If you want to reconcile with your abuser, you are free to do so, but don’t call it forgiveness — call it reconciliation. The same is true for forgiveness. If you want to forgive, do so — but don’t call it reconciliation.