When I was at my lowest point, in the depths of addiction and despair, I would plead with God to send me a sign. Any kind of cue that I could pick up on so that I might know he was there. That I wasn’t alone. That all of my faith, broken and decimated by the humans on earth, could be revitalized by one small gesture from a supreme being.
Now I can see…I was never alone. I just wasn’t in a place to be able to fully hear or see God’s hand in my life.
Even when you can’t feel God – he is still there. Even when you reject him and stop believing – it does not matter. God exists to love and support you even when everyone else has abandoned you.
I’m alive because of Him. I survived multiple overdoeses, suicide attempts and cardiac arrest because of His protection. I am sober today and healing from all of my trauma because of Him.
Today, I have moments where I just know, without a doubt, that I am experiencing the guidance, grace, love, and peace of God.
I also have Monday mornings, car accidents, bills, funerals, plumbing issues, and all sorts of moments where I don’t “feel” God at all.
Should we always have an undeniable and tangible awareness of God?
I think loving God and serving Him has a lot more to do with this:
… the LORD has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8
We don’t need tingles to experience God’s presence. Try asking God to reveal Himself to you. Give Him permission to do it however He pleases.